Just Because You Are Out Of My Life Doesn’t Mean You Have Left My Thoughts

Just Because You Are Out Of My Life Doesn't Mean You Have Left My Thoughts
Unsplash / Analise Benevides

We aren’t on speaking terms and that’s the way I want to keep things. I don’t want you in my world anymore. I am trying to stay as far away from you as possible. You are unhealthy for me.

Even though we have a deep history, I cannot forgive and forget. I cannot act like everything is okay between us when looking at you makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot think about you without feeling a surge of anger. I cannot talk about you without risking tears falling.

That is why your name has been removed from my list of contacts and you have been blocked from all of my social media accounts. I have severed all contact with you. I have completely removed you from my world.

But just because you are not in my life does not mean you have left my thoughts. I think about you all the time. You are on my mind more than I would ever admit.

I still care about you, even though you don’t deserve any of my time or attention. I still hope you are doing well, even though you might not feel the same way about me. I still ask about you when I run into someone who keeps in contact with you, even though I shouldn’t give a damn anymore.

Sometimes I am too sweet for my own good. I am nice to people who don’t deserve it. I give too much of myself to the wrong people. But even though I am nice enough to want what’s best for you and talk nicely about you when other people bring up your name, I’m not nice enough to let you back into my world. I’m not nice enough to let you get away with how you’ve been treating me.

I am not a vindictive person. Even though you have hurt me in a million different ways a million different times, I want what is best for you. I want you to grow. I want you to mature. I want you to stop causing pain and bring someone the kind of happiness you were unable to give me.

You might think I have completely forgotten about you by now, because I haven’t answered any of your messages and have made sure to keep my distance from places you are going to be, but that is not true.

You are still someone who pops into my head during holidays and birthdays, even though I never reach out to you on those days. You are still someone who means a lot to me, even though you are not someone who I text or follow on social media anymore. You are still someone who matters to me, even though I never want to see your face again.

Just because you are out of my life does not mean you have left my thoughts. Just because I stopped talking to you does not mean I have stopped loving you. TC mark

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