Every time we see each other, we’re surrounded by other people. We usually get a chance to talk, because no matter how many others are crowding our space, we gravitate toward each other — we choose seats closest together, we let our skin brush, we let our hearts race in parallel — but I don’t like it when other people are nearby, stealing your attention. I want all of your focus directed at me.
I don’t want you to be pulled away in the middle of a conversation with me. I don’t want the moment to be ruined because someone else happens to interrupt. I don’t want you to be distracted from flirting with me because you have other things on your mind. And I don’t want to feel like an audience is watching our love story unfold.
I feel like I have to show a certain amount of restraint when we’re in public. I don’t want to crawl all over you when outsider eyes are watching. That is why I censor my words. I am careful about what leaves my lips because even though I am comfortable with you, I’m uncomfortable with others seeing how comfortable we are together. I don’t need them to listen in on our conversations. I don’t need us to become a form of entertainment for them.
There are a million different reasons I don’t want other people in the room with us. I don’t want anyone to hear the flirtatious things I have been thinking about saying to you. I want to see what happens when we’re all alone, just the two of us, without anybody watching. I want to test our chemistry. I want to see how well we connect. I want to be unfiltered with you. I want to be raw and real.
I have been dying to spend one-on-one time with you, to sit inside your empty room and feel the hours tick passed like minutes. I want to have the time to ask you questions and swap opinions and learn more about the mind inside the body. I want the chance to delve into deeper conversations and take larger leaps.
I like hanging out with you in groups. It’s cute when you text me from across the room or share a glance with me that no one else is supposed to catch. I like when you look at me when you’re speaking even though there’s an entire roomful of other people. But I would like it even better if I had some alone time with you, if we were given the chance to explore our feelings without holding back.
I want to see what happens when we’re alone together. I want to see if one of us will be brave enough to take the next step, to make a move, to turn this unspeakable spark between us into a flesh and bone reality.
I want to hang out with you one-on-one. There’s no better way I can think of to spend my mornings, my nights, and all of the time in between.