I didn’t want to bombard you with texts or beg you to hang out with me, so I held myself back from talking to you. I made sure I never initiated too many conversations in a row. I made sure I never flirted too hard. I tried to come across as casual.
I spaced out the likes I left across your social media. I waited a certain amount of time to text you back. I paced myself because I didn’t want to chase you away. I was worried about pushing you too far too quickly. I didn’t want to pressure you into a relationship. I didn’t want to make you feel rushed.
I thought it was better to remain patient, to take our relationship one step at a time, than to suffocate you. I assumed giving you space was my best option. I didn’t want to seem desperate for your love. I didn’t want to freak you out.
Looking back, I should have tried harder to make you mine, because now you are taken. I missed my chance with you. I screwed up.
You are with someone else now and I can’t stop kicking myself for all of the things I never got to say to you. There were a million times when I could have told you how I felt or asked you on a date or leaned in to kiss you, but I forced myself to wait.
At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I realize I shouldn’t have waited. I should have realized the clock was ticking. I should have flirted with you more, I should have made my intentions more obvious, because then, maybe we would be together right now.
I should have let you know how much you meant to me while I still had the chance. I should have been more obvious about my feelings.
I should have texted you whenever you popped into my head instead of waiting until the perfect moment. I should have complimented you about how cute you were and how much I loved spending time with you instead of keeping those thoughts in my head. I should have spilled my emotions instead of stuffing them deep into my chest out of fear you didn’t feel the same way.
Unfortunately, I was so worried about embarrassing myself by throwing myself at you that I never considered you would have liked the attention. I never considered the fact that, while I was slowly trying to get you to like me, other people were fighting for your attention as well.
I took my time getting to know you because I didn’t realize I was going to run out of time. I didn’t realize you would start dating someone else. I thought you were interested in me. I thought that meant something.
I guess it’s my own fault. I guess I shouldn’t have waited so long to make a move because now you’re taken. Now you’re never going to become mine.