I have a bad habit of expecting the worst. I will sit awake in bed at night, worried about what the next day holds. I will overthink conversations and dread events that I should be excited about attending. I will drive myself crazy with the what ifs.
Sometimes, my overthinking helps me. I will leave early for work in case of traffic or a car accident, so I always get where I’m going on time. I will pack my bags with emergency supplies, so I am never empty-handed when I need a pencil or a bandaid.
But most of the time, my overthinking causes trouble. It makes my world more difficult. It makes me feel like complete shit.
I am slowly learning to stop assuming everyone hates me and the world is against me. I am trying to alter my pessimism. I am hoping to change the little voice in the back of my mind into a more positive one.
I cannot keep allowing my thoughts to take sleep away from me. I cannot keep living in fear and thinking so little of myself. It has made my life a living hell. It has caused me stress and increased my insecurities.
I am slowly learning to stop imagining the worst case scenario because there is no sense in making myself sick with worry. I can spend hours wondering whether I am going to fail, whether I am going to embarrass myself, or whether I am going to have a horrible time tomorrow — but worrying is not going to change things. At least, not for the better.
If anything, worrying will make things worse. It will make me paranoid and anxious and overemotional. It will ruin my mood and cause me to snap at the people around me without meaning to do so.
I am slowly learning to go with the flow and live in the present. I cannot obsess over the mistakes of my past or the possibilities in my future. I cannot think too far ahead because there is no telling what is going to happen a year, a month, or even a few days from now. I should pace myself better. I should learn to embrace the moment instead of running from it.
I am sick of wasting valuable time worrying. Most of the time, things turn out better than I expected, anyway. Most of the time, my daydreams are worse than the reality.
I am slowly learning to stop assuming bad things are going to happen to me, because I deserve good things. I deserve to discover happiness. I deserve to look forward to my future.
I am slowly learning to stop imagining the worst case scenario, because my overthinking hurts me more than it helps me. Even though I am never going to stop planning for my future, I have to remind myself to stop worrying about my future. I am doing fine. Everything is going to be okay. I have to believe that.