I am slowly inching myself away from the days of crying into mirrors and inside of dressing rooms. I am working on altering my negative mindset. I am silencing the critical voice in the back of my mind and making room for a more optimistic voice, a voice that will uplift me instead of crush me.
I am slowly learning to show myself more respect. When something goes wrong in my world, my first instinct is no longer to criticize myself. I can get rejected without freaking out about how I am unlovable and deserve to end up alone. I can mess up at work without calling myself an idiot, a failure, a mistake.
There are moments of weakness when that nasty, insecure voice slips through the cracks, but most of the time, I am kind to myself. I would never speak to anyone else the way I have spoken to myself in the past and I have to keep that in mind. I have to ask myself whether calling myself ugly and untalented and worthless is fair. I have to reset the way I have been groomed to think.
I am slowly reducing the number of toxic people in my world. I am reminding myself not to settle out of loneliness. I am walking away from bad situations because my idea of what I deserve is shifting. Settling is no longer an option in my book.
I am slowly learning how to say, “I like myself.” I am pampering myself more. I am doing things just for me. I am realizing my opinions matter. I am beginning to understand my own importance. I am no longer acting like everyone else is above me, like they are deserving of the world while I am deserving of their mistreatment. I am starting to see my own worth.
I am slowly working on abandoning my self-destructive habits. I am not reaching for a drink the second life throws curveballs at me anymore. I am not jumping into relationships to distract me from my problems anymore. I am not intentionally causing myself more pain anymore.
I am slowly learning to use the word no with more frequency. I am not going to agree to parties and events that bring me no sense of excitement. I am not going to be guilt tripped into saying yes. I am not going to add stress to my world for no reason, all because I am helping someone out who would never go out of their way for me if our roles were reversed.
I am slowly learning new ways to respect my body. I am more concerned with my health. I am making time to exercise. I am filling my fridge with healthier foods. I am choosing the stairs over the elevator. I am making sure I take good care of my physical health along with my mental health.
I am slowly learning to show myself more respect. I am slowly learning to love myself in a way I never have before.