You Are Allowed To Break Hearts

Break Hearts
Unsplash / Sasha

You have a soft heart. You spread kindness everywhere you go. The last thing you want to do is hurt someone who cares about you.

Even though you are a good person, you are allowed to break hearts. You are allowed to dump someone who is not giving you everything you’ve been expecting. You are allowed to become the bitchy ex.

No, you should not purposely lead anyone on when you know they are not your type. You should not play games for the fun of it. You should not walk around, hurting people just because you can and it makes you feel powerful.

But you are allowed to decide that a relationship you have been in for a long time (or only for a hot second) has run its course. You are allowed to turn down second dates when you do not feel a connection. You are allowed to decide you don’t want to go home with the stranger who bought you a drink even though he originally seemed nice.

You should not feel guilty about walking away from a relationship that is not working for you. You should not feel obligated to give a man anything, whether it’s your time or your attention or your body. You should not say yes to someone because you would feel like an asshole saying no. 

If someone has been blowing up your phone with texts, but there is no chemistry between you, then you are allowed to stop answering — or to at least explain how you feel and let him down easy so it doesn’t seem like you ghosted.

If someone seemed like they were your type on a dating site, and then you meet them and have zero interest in pursuing them further, then you are allowed to say no when they ask you back to their apartment after coffee.

You are allowed to turn men down, even though they might call you a bitch. You are allowed to change your mind, even though they might call you a tease. You are allowed to break up with someone you originally thought had potential, even though it might make you look like the bad guy.

You are allowed to walk away from someone who does not interest you. You might hurt their feelings in the process but it is better to be honest than to lead them on with a one-sided love. It gives them a chance to explore their other options, to find someone who fits them better while you are busy doing the same thing.

You should not feel like you are trapped in a relationship because there is too much history. You should not let your boyfriend guilt trip you into staying for longer than you would like.

You should not feel like a horrible person when you end a relationship, because you are allowed to break hearts. You are allowed to decide you would rather be single or date a different type of guy. You are allowed to go after what you truly want instead of settling for second best. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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