You Are Allowed To Be Angry

angry
Unsplash / Steven Erixon

You are allowed to hold grudges. You are allowed to block phone numbers. You are allowed to scream into pillows and complain to your friends over sangrias at the bar.

Stop faking your happiness. Stop pretending you are okay with the way someone treated you when you are secretly suffering inside. Expressing your hurt does not make you weak. It makes you human.

You are not required to take the high road or be the bigger person. You do not have to forgive someone who has done nothing to earn it.

Why should you be the one who has to act mature to keep up appearances when the person who hurt you is getting away with the way they have been acting?

People might warn you not to stoop to their level, but you are allowed to be mad about a breakup or an almost relationship or a toxic friendship. You are allowed to say, “I never deserved to be put through this.” You are allowed to use your voice instead of quietly accepting what has happened and avoiding the subject.

Others might tell you to move on with your life, to forget about what you went through, but you are allowed to dwell on the hurt inside of your heart — not forever, but for a little while. Thinking about what happened, and letting yourself feel emotional over what happened, is the only way you are going to find true closure. It is going to help you heal.

There is no sense in bottling up your emotions. There is no reason to pretend it’s okay that someone hurt you, because it is not okay. You never deserved to be put through that.

You are never obligated to listen to someone’s apologies or give them a second chance or forgive them. You are allowed to be angry. You have every right to that anger.

You are not a bad person for kicking someone out of your world who betrayed you. You are not heartless for walking away when they begged you to stay.

You are allowed to hold grudges for a lifetime. You are allowed to still feel lingering pain over what someone did to you a long time ago. You are allowed to feel.

You are allowed to stay angry — you just have to be careful with how you choose to express that anger. You cannot slash tires. You cannot use your fists. You cannot lash out and do something you regret.

You can get your revenge on ex-best friends and ex-boyfriends by living life without them. By being happy without them.

You cannot let them win. You cannot let the hurt they cause you convince you that you are not enough, that you are worthless, that you are never going to find love.

You are allowed to be angry — but that is not the only way you should feel. You should also feel motivated to prove them wrong. You should feel inspired to rediscover yourself without them. You should feel free because they are no longer holding you down. TC mark

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