When You Love Someone More Than Yourself

Love Yourself
Unsplash / Bogdan Glisik

When you love someone more than yourself, it’s easy to forget your own worth. To get swallowed up by your feelings for them. To make sacrifices for them you would not be willing to make for anybody else. To put them miles ahead of yourself. To consider them your top priority.

Some people say it’s impossible to love someone else if you don’t love yourself first, but that is a complete lie. It’s much easier to love someone when you struggle to see your self-worth, when you do not think highly enough of yourself. It’s easier because you assume they are out of your league, you assume they are better than you. You place them atop a pedestal. You are value them above yourself. You convince yourself that they are everything you have ever wanted, that they could do no wrong.

When you love someone more than yourself, you would do anything for them — even foolish things. You would settle for less than you deserve. You would let them walk all over you. You would allow them to mistreat you without speaking up because you don’t want to risk pushing them away.

When you love someone more than yourself, everything becomes about them. Your only concern is making them happy so you stop worrying about your own happiness. You watch the movie they want. You play the music they want. You cook the foods they want and go on dates they want. You stop having your own opinion because you become obsessed with theirs.

When you love someone more than yourself, you have to be careful, because it’s easy to forget what you deserve. It’s easy to give them complete access to your heart and soul without putting up any barriers. It’s easy to become too trusting. It’s easy to let your guard down. It’s easy to be blinded by  your feelings. It’s easy to give them more than they have actually earned.

When you love someone more than yourself, you have to save some of that love for yourself. You have to remember that they are not supposed to be the center of your universe, they are not supposed to be the only reason you rise from bed in the morning, they are not supposed to be the only source of your happiness.

As tempted as you are to bend over backwards for them, to come running every time they call, you cannot abandon your independence. You cannot forget that you deserve to receive as much from them as you have been offering. You cannot ask for less because you do not want to be a bother to them, because you are willing to take whatever you can get from them as long as you get to spend time together.

When you love someone more than yourself, you are willing to do anything in the world for them, but that doesn’t mean you should. You have to keep your standards high. You have to make sure you are not getting the short end of a one-sided relationship. TC mark

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