What It Actually Means To ‘Choose Yourself’

Choose Yourself
Unsplash / Angelos Michalopoulos

Choosing yourself is not as magical as it sounds. It is not always about chanting positive affirmations into the mirror or clearing your schedule so you have time to pamper yourself.

Sometimes, choosing yourself means walking away from a relationship you spent years building. It means saying goodbye to someone you thought would remain in your world forever. It means listening to your head instead of your heart and deciding that you deserve more than what they have been putting you through.

Sometimes, choosing yourself means calling out from work even when you are feeling fine physically. It means taking a mental health day when you have been over stressed. It means knowing when your mind needs a rest instead of pushing yourself until you snap.

Sometimes, choosing yourself means canceling on your friends at the last second even though you know they are going to be pissed at you. It means not showing up to a party even though you’ll risk coming across as flaky. It means knowing when to choose what would make you happiest instead of what would make everyone surrounding you happiest.

Sometimes, choosing yourself means saying no. It means heading home instead of working extra hours. It means turning down a night out with friends so you can go to bed early. It means only putting a certain amount on your plate at one time because you don’t want to overwork yourself.

Sometimes, choosing yourself means standing up for yourself when someone wrongs you instead of letting them get away with it. It means having a confrontation instead of ignoring the problem. It means letting the world know that nobody can walk over you, nobody can disrespect you, because you are not afraid to call them out.

Sometimes, choosing yourself means spending money on something you love, even if everyone else will call it a waste. It means chasing after the career you want instead of taking the easy route everyone expects you to take. It means listening to your gut instead of the whispers around you.

Sometimes, choosing yourself means seeing a therapist. It means asking for help instead of pretending your problems are going to vanish on their own. It means taking care of your mind because your body is not the only thing you should be worried about healing.

Sometimes, choosing yourself means disappointing the people who care about you. It means placing yourself before anyone else, no matter how much they mean to you. It means giving your loved ones a little bit less so you have the energy to give yourself a little bit more.

Sometimes, choosing yourself sucks. It makes you feel guilty. It makes you look selfish. It makes other people mad at you. But at the end of the day, you have to make the decision that is right for yourself. You have to place yourself as a priority. You have to choose your own sanity over the way you will be perceived by others. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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