The Difference Between Interest And Effort

If he likes all of your selfies and watches all of your snap stories and randomly texts you about how much he misses you from time to time, then he is interested in you.

If he texts you after midnight with invites to his apartment, if he sends messages filled with heart eyed emojis, if he keeps talking about how he wants to take you out for drinks, then he is interested in you.

If he touches you every chance he gets, if his hugs last a little too long, if he looks at you with lust in his eyes, then he is interested in you.

But just because he is interested does not mean he is going to put in actual effort. It does not mean he is going to give you what you deserve. It does not mean he has any desire to become your official boyfriend.

A guy who is interested will drown you in compliments about how sexy you look in your bathing suit and how much he loves your eyes — but a guy who puts in effort will compliment you on your personality. He will point out how hard you make him laugh and how good of a heart you have and how proud he is of everything you have accomplished.

A guy who is interested will invite you back to his place to make-out — but a guy who puts in effort will take you on real dates. To the movies. To museums. To fancy restaurants. He will want the world to see you holding hands. He will be excited to show you off.

A guy who is interested will text you when he is drunk — but a guy who puts in effort will still be ready to talk early in the morning when he is sober. He will not wait until he is lonely to text you again. He will want to talk to you all the time. 

A guy who is interested will tell you he misses you — but a guy who puts in effort will try his hardest to find a day to hang out with you. He will rearrange his schedule if that is what it comes down to. He will make sure that he gets some one-on-one time with you because he couldn’t imagine waiting much longer to see your face again.

A guy who is interested will only pay attention to you when the mood strikes — but a guy who puts in effort will be there for you at any time of day. He will not make you wait weeks for an answer to a text. He will not give excuses when you ask if he is free. He will be available. He will be present.

A guy who is interested will make you feel good about yourself half of the time and like shit the other half of the time — but a guy who puts in effort to get you and to keep you will always make you feel beautiful, valued, adored. You will never have to question how he feels because I love you will be stamped across his face. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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