Stop calling me a bad person for cutting someone out of my world who emotionally abused me. Someone who manipulated and played mind games. Someone who had me scared to make the tiniest mistake because he would blow up in my face. Someone who worsened my anxiety, my paranoia, my insecurities. Someone who never deserved an ounce of my love.
People will hear the shortened version of my story — that I have blocked your number from my phone because I refuse to put up with your bullshit for any longer — and assume that I am overreacting.
They will give pseudo uplifting speeches about forgiveness and second chances. They will make comments they think are harmless but are downright disgusting and irresponsible like, “But he did so much for you. Don’t you think you are being unappreciative? Is this really fair to him?”
I can make them regret their words with one story. One snippet of the hell he put me through. About the police or the drugs or the blood and broken doors. About the nasty things he said about wanting my grandmother to die and making fun of me for going to therapy to deal with issues he gave me.
I have a million stories, but usually one will get the point across and that’s not even breaking the surface of what I had to go through with him around darkening my world.
After hearing my examples they will backtrack and say, “Oh. I didn’t know. I didn’t realize it was that bad. I didn’t realize he did anything like that.”
I should not have to give details I would rather forget to my family members and friends for them to believe I am telling the truth. If I say someone is not in my life anymore because they were unhealthy for me to be around, believe me. If I tell you that I cut someone out of my world, believe that they did something worthy of the punishment.
Do not assume that I am the crazy one. Do not assume that I am being too hard on anybody.
Most importantly, do not try to convince me to forgive someone or allow them back into my world when you do not know a single thing about the situation. When you have no fucking clue what I went through and are only guessing.
My business is not any of yours. Let me make my own decisions without chastising me for them. Let me live my life without pointing out how you would have done it differently.
If you try to make me feel like a bad person for cutting someone toxic out of my world, if you try to guilt trip me or convince me to give them one more chance, then you can go fuck yourself. I’m tired of hearing it. I’m sick of being portrayed as the bad guy because I finally decided to put an end to my abuse.
I am proud of myself for walking away, but it seems like everyone else hates me for it.
I don’t care about that anymore though. I cut someone destructive out of my world, someone that I used to love, and I will not hesitate to do the same to you.