I am slowly learning there is no sense in worrying about the future because there is no way to predict what is going to happen, there is no way to change the outcome of certain situations, there is no way to take complete control over what happens to me.
Of course, that does not mean I should sit on my ass and passively wait to see what is going to happen. I still have choices to make. I still have actions to take. I can still lead my life in a certain direction.
I just cannot get too obsessive about time lines and milestones and certainties. There is no telling when I am going to land my dream job or get married or raise enough money for my own apartment. I can make educated guesses, but that’s all they really are. Guesses.
I am slowly learning to stop freaking out when another birthday comes without reaching my goals. It is okay if it takes me a few more months to finish college than I originally thought or if a relationship ends that I always believed was end game. My picture of the future is allowed to consistently shift.
Change can happen without warning. Tomorrow, something could occur that alters my life for better or for worse — or that alters the way I think and believe. The thoughts I hold today are not necessarily the ones I am going to keep tomorrow. People change. Dreams change.
Even though, right now, I have a clear picture in my mind of what I want my future to look like, that doesn’t mean the future-me is going to want those same things. I might decide to chase after something else soon, something I do not even realize I want yet.
That is why I am trying not to get too frustrated when things fail to work out the way I planned. Even though I am a planner, the kind of person who likes to know exactly what is going to happen before the day arrives, I am trying to go with the flow more. I am trying to stop acting so controlling because certain situations are out of my grasp.
Moving forward, I am still going to set goals for myself. I am still going to ask myself what I want from this world and set after it without restraint. I am still going to work my ass off to achieve my biggest dreams because I would never forgive myself for settling.
However, I am not going to plan out every little detail of my life perfectly anymore — because I am only going to become disappointed by the results. I have to remember that things might not happen when I want them to or exactly how I imagined they would and that is completely okay. That is the fun part, discovering what happens as time goes by.
I am slowly learning to keep making plans for my future, but I am also learning to accept that those plans might reform along the way.