I Am Slowly Learning I Can Live Without Love

Live Without Love
Unsplash / Ilie Micut-Istrate

I am slowly learning that, even though most of the people I know consider marriage their end goal, the milestone they are most excited about reaching, that is not the case for me. I am more concerned with other areas of my world. With my career. With my friendships. With my health. With my overall happiness.

I am open to getting married in the future, but I am not going to complain if I never come across my forever person. I can reach fulfillment with or without someone standing by my side. I realize that now.

I am slowly learning to relax more and worry less. If someone worthwhile enters my world, then I am going to give them a chance — but if no one like that comes along, then I am not going to feel sorry for myself. I am not going to wonder whether there is something wrong with me for still being single. I am going to trust timing, trust fate, trust that I am stepping down the right path.

I am slowly learning I do not have to be on the constant lookout for love. I do not have to keep swiveling my head, searching for suitors everywhere I go. When I am out with friends, I should be enjoying their company, not looking for new company. It’s pointless to spend all of my nights out hoping to spot a man who could make me happy in the future when I am surrounded by friends who could make me happy right there, in the moment.

I am slowly learning that even when I find someone I’m interested in seeing seriously, I should not think too much. First dates do not have to lead to anything permanent, to lifelong happily ever afters. When I place too much emphasis on predicting where the future might take me, it takes away from the fun I am having in the moment.

I am slowly learning to take relationships one day at a time instead of thinking too far into the future, because it’s unpredictable anyway. It’s difficult to tell whether someone is going to disappoint me at first glance. I used to overthink every little move my dates made, but from now on, I would rather focus on the now. Am I happy now? Do I want to be here? Am I enjoying myself?

I am slowly learning that my career matters more to me than my love life, anyway. I would rather call myself successful when it comes to my work than when it comes to finding someone to call my boyfriend. I would rather pursue a passion that I already love than a person that I could potentially fall in love with. I would rather focus on something I can control than something that is in cupid’s hands.

I am slowly learning that there is a part of me that will always yearn for love, for a relationship, for a storybook romance — but there is another part of me that understands love is not everything. Love is not the answer to my problems. Love is not going to save me from myself. I have to do that on my own. TC mark

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