I Am Slowly Learning I Can Live Without Love

Live Without Love
Unsplash / Ilie Micut-Istrate

I am slowly learning that, even though most of the people I know consider marriage their end goal, the milestone they are most excited about reaching, that is not the case for me. I am more concerned with other areas of my world. With my career. With my friendships. With my health. With my overall happiness.

I am open to getting married in the future, but I am not going to complain if I never come across my forever person. I can reach fulfillment with or without someone standing by my side. I realize that now.

I am slowly learning to relax more and worry less. If someone worthwhile enters my world, then I am going to give them a chance — but if no one like that comes along, then I am not going to feel sorry for myself. I am not going to wonder whether there is something wrong with me for still being single. I am going to trust timing, trust fate, trust that I am stepping down the right path.

I am slowly learning I do not have to be on the constant lookout for love. I do not have to keep swiveling my head, searching for suitors everywhere I go. When I am out with friends, I should be enjoying their company, not looking for new company. It’s pointless to spend all of my nights out hoping to spot a man who could make me happy in the future when I am surrounded by friends who could make me happy right there, in the moment.

I am slowly learning that even when I find someone I’m interested in seeing seriously, I should not think too much. First dates do not have to lead to anything permanent, to lifelong happily ever afters. When I place too much emphasis on predicting where the future might take me, it takes away from the fun I am having in the moment.

I am slowly learning to take relationships one day at a time instead of thinking too far into the future, because it’s unpredictable anyway. It’s difficult to tell whether someone is going to disappoint me at first glance. I used to overthink every little move my dates made, but from now on, I would rather focus on the now. Am I happy now? Do I want to be here? Am I enjoying myself?

I am slowly learning that my career matters more to me than my love life, anyway. I would rather call myself successful when it comes to my work than when it comes to finding someone to call my boyfriend. I would rather pursue a passion that I already love than a person that I could potentially fall in love with. I would rather focus on something I can control than something that is in cupid’s hands.

I am slowly learning that there is a part of me that will always yearn for love, for a relationship, for a storybook romance — but there is another part of me that understands love is not everything. Love is not the answer to my problems. Love is not going to save me from myself. I have to do that on my own. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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