Don’t date someone who forces you into doing the things he wants you to do. Date someone who sees what your goals are and encourages you to chase after them because he wants you to flourish, he wants you to discover yourself, he wants you to be as happy as humanly possible.
Date someone who thinks you are smart and strong and capable. Someone who knows you can handle anything this world throws at you. Someone who would be perfectly happy if you remained the same for the rest of your days together, but is also supportive whenever you decide you want to redirect the path of your life.
Don’t date someone who points out how much weight you’ve gained and orders you to visit the gym. Don’t date someone who gets mad at you when you order too much food or have a glass of wine with your dinner. Date someone who is happy with you exactly the way that you are and lets you make your own decisions — but if you happen to mention how badly you want to lose weight, will encourage you to follow through on your goal.
Encouraging you does not mean he hounds you about how many calories you’ve had or whether you jogged that morning. It means when you are standing on a scale and crying your eyes out, he starts by reminding you he loves you exactly the way you are and then gives you a motivational talk about how you can do anything you put your mind to and how you are going to succeed because he believes in you. He should not make you feel like you have to look different, but if that is what you truly want, he should support your decision and help you feel like you have what it takes.
It’s important to date someone who raises your confidence when you are feeling low. Someone who makes you believe in yourself when you have lost hope.
There is such a big difference between pushing you into something you are not ready to do and encouraging you to do something you have always dreamt about doing.
If you are insecure about your body, he should not pressure you into sleeping with him earlier than you feel comfortable — but he can compliment you on how good you look and remind you that you are perfect in his eyes.
If you are not ready to reach for your dream job, he should not pressure you into sending the application anyway — but he can raise your confidence by reminding you how hard you have been working and how much you deserve success.
The right person for you will respect you enough to allow you to make your own choices. They will not guilt trip you into anything. They will not manipulate you into anything. They will give you the freedom to choose yourself.
You should never date someone who pushes you outside of your comfort zone. Date someone who encourages you to make the decision to leave it on your own.