You Don’t Get To Love Me When You’re Lonely

Unsplash / Cadú Brito

You don’t get to pick and choose when to pay attention to me.

You don’t get to ignore me when a better opportunity comes along and only pay attention to me when it is convenient for you.

You don’t get to love me when you’re lonely. 

I want you to love me every second of every day — even when there are a million other things on your mind.

I don’t only want you to think of me when you’re drunk.

I don’t only want you to think of me when you’re bored and your mind is blank.

I want to be in your thoughts, even when you are surrounded by friends, having the time of your life. I want you to remember to text me, even when you are busy at work and swamped with things to do. I want to be in the front of your mind, not hidden in the back.

You don’t get to have me when the clock ticks past midnight and you want to fill the silence of your bedroom.

You don’t get to talk to me when you cannot find anyone better to text for the time being.

You do not get to love me when all of your other options have been stripped away. 

If you are going to love me, then you need to do it all the way. You need to show me you are serious about me. You need to be there for me morning, noon, and night. You cannot decide that I am only good enough for you when you are in the mood. You cannot choose to love my physical body, but not my heart or soul.

I am not the person to turn to when you need a quick boost in confidence.

I am not the girl who is going to offer you every little piece of myself and expect nothing in return.

You have to treat me as well as you expect me to treat you.

You have to make me feel beautiful, not annoying and unwanted.

I am not going to answer your texts if they always have the same hidden message — that you miss me and want to see me (but only tonight, because by morning you will have forgotten about me).

I am not going to kiss away your bruises when you are unwilling to see my own.

I am not going to accept your temporary affection, because I have been searching a lifetime for something permanent.

I do not have energy to spare, so unless you give me proof that you are worthy of my love, then I am going to walk away. I am going to end our ‘relationship’ before you have the chance to make me regret my feelings for you. I am going to continue my search for what I deserve.

You don’t get to use me. 

You don’t get to hurt me. 

You don’t get to know what it’s like to be loved by a girl like me, because settling is not in my vocabulary. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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