She Doesn’t Realize She Is Worthy Of Love

worthy of love
Unsplash / Sharon McCutcheon

She is the girl who offered her love and received nothing in return. Who decided to keep on fighting for a relationship that should have ended a long time ago.

She has no idea what healthy love looks like because she was trapped with someone toxic for most of her life. Every time he pulled away from her, she chased after him. She was willing to change for him. Change her clothes. Change her friends. Change her opinion of herself.

She would have done anything for him — and she did. She gave up her self-worth.

She handled the arguments and the screaming and the drunken nights with as much dignity as she could muster. She thought she was doing the right thing. She was taught to sacrifice for love. She was taught people could change if you loved them hard enough — but she was mistaken.

She should not have forgiven him so many times in a row, but her soft heart allowed her to get trampled upon. She let him walk all over her, she let him do as he pleased, but she didn’t see herself as a pushover. She saw herself as a saint.

She thought such kindness would make him love her more, but it only made him respect her less. It made him assume he could get away with anything and he would not have to suffer the consequences because she would still be there, ready to give him his millionth chance.

Back then, she thought her hard work would pay off in the end. She thought he would wake up one evening with an epiphany about how she has given him everything within her power and he should change his behavior.

But that never happened. He only got worse. He only hurt her deeper.

When she finally decided to leave, he didn’t even care about losing her. Not really. He only cared about his bruised ego, about his loss of power. She meant nothing to him, even though she spent so long trying to earn a place in his heart.

After such a long time beneath his spell, she has lost her sense of worth. Now, she does not realize she is deserving of love. A part of her feels like she earned the mistreatment from her past. There are times where she wonders whether leaving was a mistake, whether it was better to be stuck in a loveless relationship than to be on her own, alone and lonely. But she will not have those doubts for long.

Now that she has freed herself from him, she will grow into someone assertive and self-assured. It will take a long time, but the value of her own soul will slowly start to dawn on her.

There will come a day when she will wonder how she was the same person who once let a man screw her over time and time again. On that day, she will have confidence within herself. She will know her worth. She will not settle for toxicity again. TC mark

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