I Am Struggling To Keep My Standards High

Unsplash / Miguel Runa

I always talk about how I am never going to settle for a relationship where I am treated poorly or chase after someone who plays hard to get.

But I do not always follow through on those promises.

There are moments where I can feel myself falling for someone who is already in a relationship or someone who clearly has no interest in entering a relationship.

There are nights where I keep glancing back at my phone, waiting for a certain text to come through, even though I promised I would not do that to myself again.

There are days when I keep my schedule clear just in case the person I have been casually talking to decides that they want to see me at the last second.

There are times when I find myself stuck in another almost relationship, even though I swore I was not going to deal with mixed messages again and was going to hold out for someone who wanted something serious.

I am trying to keep my standards high, but I am having trouble because I have never had the best taste. I have a habit of falling for the wrong people. People who underestimate my worth. People who could not care less about responding to my texts or showing up on time.

I act like my standards are high, like I am the pickiest person in the world, but in reality it does not take all that much to make me happy. My expectations are relatively low.

I want someone who texts back in a reasonable amount of time, someone who takes me on cute dates, someone who calls me pretty, someone who pays attention to me and not only when they are drunk.

Since I have set the bar so low, it’s common for me to let the wrong people into my world. People who try to get away with putting in the minimum effort.

I am trying to work on keeping my standards high to avoid having my heart broken again in the future, but I know there are going to be setbacks. I know there are going to be more toxic relationships headed my way.

Even though I am hoping to find a relationship that brings me more happiness than I have ever dreamed, I am not going to keep blaming myself for falling for the wrong people. I am allowed to make mistakes when it comes to dating. I am allowed to let my heart lead me astray. 

I am no longer going to be ashamed of saying the relationship didn’t work out, because I cannot control who I fall for — but I can control how long I stick around. I can control whether I continue letting someone walk all over me or whether I walk away before they have a chance to hurt me even worse.

My standards might not be the highest, I might not always date the best people, but at least I am putting myself out there. At least I am brave enough to search for love. TC mark

A Complete Guided Journal For Healing Your Own Life

This is your life.

You are the only one who decides how it goes.

Click Here

More From Thought Catalog

The People Bringing You Delicious Dairy

A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from.

Meet Emily Turner