You Shouldn’t Be Surprised I Blocked You

blocked
Unsplash / Yanapi Senaud

You shouldn’t be surprised I decided to block your number from my phone after everything you have put me through. I know you don’t remember most of the mean things you have said to me because you erased them from your mind to make yourself look like the victim — either that or you honestly cannot remember because you were too drunk to keep the memories alive.

In case you have forgotten, let me clear things up for you. You are a horrible person who makes horrible decisions. I forgave you a million times so don’t you dare act like I am being unreasonable for finally walking away. You didn’t deserve the last ten opportunities I gave you, but I let my love for you overshadow my common sense. You could have changed my mind about you at any time but you decided to keep making the same mistakes.

Why should I have to put in effort to forgive you when you are unwilling to put in effort to change?

I don’t care about hurting your feelings anymore, because you never hesitated to hurt mine. You put me through hell. You have no idea how much I suffered because of you. You are blind. You are oblivious. No amount of explaining would give you a sense of how many nights I spent crying because of words you said and how many times you made me feel uncomfortable inside my own home.

You can whine to your ‘friends’ about how ungrateful I am for leaving you behind after everything you have done for me, but let me tell you something. I do not owe you anything. It doesn’t matter how many bills you paid. It doesn’t matter how many times you put food on the table. You are toxic. You are abusive. You cannot do something ‘nice’ for me and then hold it over my head forever. You cannot honestly believe that I am not allowed to cut you out of my world because you spent a little bit of money on me.

That being said, I appreciate everything you did for me. I am thankful for the kindness you shared throughout the years. I realize you didn’t have to do those things. But they are not reasons to stick around. Every other aspect of our relationship is a reason to leave.

I am not going to apologize for placing myself first for a change. It took a long time for me to find the strength to get the hell away from you, and now that I am gone, I am leaving completely. I am not walking halfway out the door. I am slamming it behind me.

In the future, you are never going to hear my voice on your answering machine. You are never going to receive a birthday text from me. You are never going to see my face again.

You could have prevented this. I know you think my disappearance is sudden and unexpected, but this was coming for a long time. Your actions brought you here. You can call me a bitch for cutting you completely out of my life, but you pushed me into making this decision. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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