The Only Way A Relationship Works The Second Time

second time
Unsplash / Parker Whitson

It will only work the second time if you trust the other person has changed. If you believe them when they say they are never going to hurt you again. If your head, and not just your heart, thinks getting back together is a good idea. If you have faith you can actually make things work this time around.

It will only work the second time if you fix the issues that caused the breakup in the first place. If you discuss what went wrong and figure out a way to move forward without repeating the mistakes of the past. If you are both willing to make alterations, because if you enter the same toxic relationship you were originally apart of, then it is going to end the same way.

It will only work the second time if you are willing to release the grudges you were holding for so long. If you are able to forgive each other — and mean it. If you both agree to leave the past in the past. If you never bring up ancient mistakes in arguments in order to make a point. If you focus on what you could build together in the future instead of who fucked up in the past.

It will only work the second time if you are willing to admit your mistakes. If you are going to take responsibility for your actions. If you are going to say sorry for all the times you hurt them, even if it was unintentional. If you are going to act like adults.

It will only work the second time if you are serious about spending forever together. If you aren’t going to part ways at the first sign of trouble. If you decide that, this time, you are going to work as a team. You are going to stop viewing each other as competition and realize you are on the same side. You are going to fix your problems instead of running away from them.

It will only work the second time if you both want the same things from the future. If you can imagine making the relationship work for more than a few months. If you both agree on whether you want to be exclusive, whether you want to get married, and whether you want to have kids.

It will only work the second time if you are willing to give up your options and abandon the single life. If you are okay with the idea of commitment. If you are not going to cheat. If you are ready to delete your dating apps. If you are ready to settle down. If you are ready to give this other person everything they should have gotten from you in the beginning.

It will only work the second time if you were miserable without each other — for the right reasons. You weren’t miserable because you hated being single. You were miserable because they were your best friend, they were the highlight of your days, they were the best thing that ever happened to you and you hate yourself for letting them get away. TC mark

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