Stop Blaming Me For Walking Away From A Bad Relationship

You would think I would be congratulated for stepping away from a toxic relationship, but there are some people who have the nerve to doubt my decision. They say things like: He seemed so nice. I never saw him treat you poorly. He did so much for you. Are you sure you can’t make things work?

When I talk about how toxic my relationship was, no one seems to take my words at face value, because they didn’t see the arguments or the tears or the bruises. They only saw the cheek kisses and the cutesy Instagram pictures and the fun nights out in public, so they assume I am being dramatic. They think I am leaving a perfectly good relationship because I’m being picky.

Even when I explain some of the unforgivable acts he has done, some people hold onto the belief that I am a bitch for leaving him behind. They bring up how he bought me meals and paid for vacations, as if that means I am obligated to remain in his world. As if the money he spent means he owns me now.

It took a lot of strength to leave such a toxic relationship, but I knew I was doing the right thing. I thought walking away would feel like a breath of fresh air, and in a way it does, but in another way I am still suffering because there are people blaming me. Acting like I am ungrateful. Acting like I should have stayed with him, even though he made my life a living hell.

I cannot believe there are people — people who I love, people who I thought were on my side — who look at me like a monster for leaving someone shitty. I cannot believe there are people who are making excuses for him and acting like he is the victim because the breakup has been hard on him. I cannot believe they feel bad for him when they should be feeling bad for everything he put me through for years.

When we were together, he made me feel like I was worthless, like every decision I made was the wrong one, and now other people are making me feel the same exact way. They are trying to guilt trip me because they cannot see the situation clearly.

It hurts to know my breakup has caused certain people to look at me differently. It’s disappointing to watch them criticize my decision instead of applauding it.

But I have to remember that I did something brave. I have to keep telling myself to screw what everyone else thinks, because they are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that I am finally free. I finally have the chance to live on my own instead of being confined by his chains.

After staying in the wrong relationship for much too long, I have finally raised my standards, I have finally realized my worth, so stop blaming me for walking away when you should be patting me on the back.