She Is Settling And She Doesn’t Even Realize It

settling
Unsplash / Stephany Lorena

She is settling, but if you asked her, she would say she is dating out of her league. She would say she cannot believe she convinced someone so handsome, so sweet, and so funny to date her. She would say she is the luckiest woman in the world.

She does not realize she is settling because she is blinded by her feelings. She only sees his positive qualities and cannot see any of his flaws. Whenever he screws up, she finds a way to blame herself. She finds excuses for all of his negative behaviors because she does not want to admit that she is dating beneath her standards. She does not want to acknowledge that she was able to fall in love with someone so toxic.

She does not realize she is settling because she believes the lies the little voice in the back of her mind tells her. That she could not do any better. That she is lucky anyone is interested in her at all. That she would end up alone if she decided to break up with him. She sells herself short which is why she has accidentally placed him on a pedestal. Her lack of confidence has pushed her into an unhealthy relationship without her knowledge.

She does not realize she is settling because she has a warped self-image. She thinks little of herself. She considers herself a burden, so she is happy that anyone is willing to deal with her. Little gestures, like kissing her forehead and answering texts in less than a day, are compliments in her eyes. She does not ask for much and she would never dream of asking for more. The basics are enough to keep her happy.

She does not realize she is settling because she does not realize what she deserves. She assumes the midnight arguments and micro-cheating is part of any relationship. She mistakes toxic actions as normal. She has no idea what she is missing out on because she has never experienced it before.

She does not realize she is settling because she cares more about the good days than the bad days. She focuses on the times when he calls her beautiful and takes her out to dinner. When he puts down his phone and pays attention to what she is saying. She overlooks the majority of the time, when he comes home reeking of alcohol or of another woman’s perfume. When he makes her collapse into tears and never even apologizes for the pain.

She does not realize she is settling because she justifies his behavior in a million different ways. She tells herself he is a good guy and that he just makes bad decisions. She tells herself he will change. She tells herself loving him will convince him to treat her better in the future.

She does not realize she is settling because she cares about him too much to see the situation logically. She is thinking with her heart instead of her head. She is oblivious to the reality that the rest of the world can see clearly. TC mark

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