Before the year began, I had big plans for what 2018 was going to hold. I wanted to accomplish a million different things. I had a to-do list that ran a mile long. I told myself that I was going to find love, reach success, and discover happiness. I promised myself I would create a life that made me proud.
Back in January, I was filled with unlimited enthusiasm, but somewhere along the way I lost that drive. I became lazy. I became comfortable. I stopped chasing after my dreams and focused on getting through the day in the easiest way possible. I settled when I should have been reaching.
Looking back, I feel like I have disappointed myself. I haven’t done half of the things I swore I was going to have finished by now. I have been unable to meet my own expectations and it sucks.
I thought I would be further along this far into the year. I thought I would have something to brag about when I met friends for lunch, but I’m the one with nothing to say. Nothing except complaints.
The year is almost halfway over and I feel like I have not gotten any closer to my destination. I am in the exact same place I was in last year. Whenever I thought I was taking steps forward, I was really only jogging in place. Nothing has changed.
I could choose to mope about how much of a mess I have become — and, truthfully, I have been doing that for a while — but I’m better off changing the way I have been thinking. I have to stop regretting the first few months of the year and focus on making the last few months the best damn time of my life.
There is still another entire half of 2018 left. I cannot waste it. I cannot keep settling for average when I am aiming for extraordinary. I have to improve a little more each and every day. I have to alter my schedule. I have to alter my attitude. I have to rekindle the passion that burned so brightly inside of me when the year first started.
There is still plenty of time left for me to reach my goals. I cannot regret what happened in the past when I should be figuring out which steps to take in the future to avoid repeating the past.
If I put in enough effort, I can achieve anything. I just have to stop procrastinating. I have to push away the pessimistic voice in the back of my mind telling me it’s too late to try. I have to force myself from my comfort zone, even when it scares the hell out of me.
Even though it feels like I have wasted the beginning of 2018, I am not going to waste the rest of it. I am going to end the year by saying I am proud of everything I have accomplished. It is going to happen. I just have to make it happen.