I’m The Toxic Person You Were Warned Not To Date

I am socially awkward. Your friends are never going to tell you how lucky you are to have me, because they will never see the good sides of me. When you go to the bathroom and I am left alone with them, I will have nothing to say. I will check my phone to avoid eye contact with them. They will never grow to be our friends. They will only be yours. They will only invite me to their parties and group dinners as a courtesy to you, to be polite. If we ever broke up, they would not miss me. They would forget my name.

I am selfish. I will place myself far above you and our relationship. I will only care about my own happiness, even if that means making your world more difficult. I will throw fits until I get what I want, because I believe my way is the only good way. I will rarely compromise with you. I will stubbornly cling onto my ideas until you change your mind and agree with me.

I hate people. I do not trust anyone. I expect to be betrayed, abandoned, and disappointed. Even if you hand me a million reasons to believe the words that come out of your mouth, I will still doubt you. I will interrogate you when you come home. I will bombard you with questions until you feel like a criminal. I become jealous easily. If you even glance at someone else, I will feel incredibly insecure and wonder whether I am wasting my time with you, but I will act like you are being ridiculous if you call me out on doing the same thing.

I am independent. I am a workaholic. I will place my career before our relationship. I turn everything into a competition. I will get annoyed if you make more money than me or get a promotion before I get mine. I hold myself to a high standard and have trouble being happy for myself, but I will also struggle to be happy for you. Instead, I will feel like your accomplishments are a signal of my failures.

I am hypocritical. I want the freedom to hang out with my friends whenever I please, I feel like I should not have to ask permission from you because you are not the boss of me, but when you leave me alone on a weekend then I will mope about how you should have wanted to spend the time with me instead of choosing your friends and leaving me with my boredom. I will guilt trip you whenever you have a good time without me. I will whine whenever I am not included because I will feel like you are happier without me in the picture.

I am the toxic person you were warned not to date. I am going to hurt you. I am going to make your life miserable if you are stupid enough to settle for me.