I Would Never Get Back Together With You

back together
Unsplash / Katy Belcher

You still infiltrate my mind from time to time. You still occupy a space inside of my heart. But that does not mean I daydream about getting back together with you.

I would never give you another chance. I would never run back to you. I would never settle for what we used to have.

I might miss you, but we broke up for a reason. We were never meant to stay together. We are better apart. We make more sense on separate paths.

I am not going to fight for you or chase you or wait for you to come crawling back to me. I am not under the impression that I am lost without you. Yes, getting over you is going to be a challenge, but it’s a necessary one.

I cannot keep fighting with you and forgiving you. I don’t want an on-again off-again relationship because we are miserable together and miserable apart. I want to see what it feels like to live my life without you.

I know it won’t be easy, but no amount of begging to have me back is going to change my mind about what needs to be done. I am sticking to my guns. We do not belong together. We should not see each other anymore.

I am stupid enough to cry over you, but I am smart enough to realize I am better off without you in my world.

I might sneak a look at your social media every so often. I might ask mutual friends how you have been doing. I might scroll through pictures from when we were happier. But it’s not because I want to get back together with you. It’s part of the process of moving on. It’s a stepping stone toward closure.

I don’t leave the house with the hopes I’m going to run into you. I don’t daydream about what would happen if we tried things a second time. I don’t make wishes on stars and birthday candles about how I want you to return to my world.

If I’m being completely honest, I don’t want anything to do with you. The further away you are, the better. I think we should keep our distance. Texting you would not end well. Being your friend is not something I am willing to offer.

Once upon a time, I cared about you. I used to think living without you would be an impossibility.

But now that I have had the chance to reflect on what happened between us, I don’t want to get back together with you. I don’t want to kiss you. I don’t want to fall asleep next to you. I don’t want to walk down the aisle and see you standing at the other end. I don’t even want to walk into the grocery store and see you standing there.

I want to move on from you. I want to find someone who treats me well — or at least find myself again. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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