How To Lose An Independent Girl

An independent girl
Unsplash / Diego Rosa

You will lose an independent girl if you get annoyed whenever she leaves the house without you. If you make her feel bad for having friends, for having hobbies, for having a life outside of your relationship. If you tell her she is a horrible girlfriend for not placing you first every second of every day. If you guilt trip her whenever you have a chance.

You will lose an independent girl if you act immature. If you refuse to take responsibility for your actions. If sorry never leaves your lips. If you alter the truth to make yourself look better. If you blame others for your problems instead of admitting when you have made a mistake.

You will lose an independent girl if you misvalue her worth. If you act like you are superior to her. If you talk down to her. If you one-up her. If every conversation with you feels like a competition she is unable to win.

You will lose an independent girl if you play games with her. If you act unobtainable. If you try to seem cool and mysterious by treating her like a second choice. If you pretend she means nothing to you. If you make her think you are not interested at all.

You will lose an independent girl if you suffocate her. If you never give her a moment alone to read or exercise or recharge. If you want to be attached to her hip 24/7 instead of giving her room to breathe.

You will lose an independent girl if you make her feel small. If you roll your eyes at her jokes. If you comment on how much she has been eating. If you point out her ‘flaws’. If you tell her she needs to hit the gym more or dress better. If you believe she needs to change in order to be worthy of your love.

You will lose an independent girl if you attempt to keep her in chains. If you pressure her to turn down a good job opportunity so she doesn’t have to work extra hours. If you chase her away from her friends because you want her all to yourself. If you fail to challenge her, fail to support her, fail to encourage her growth.

You will lose an independent girl if you expect her to ask permission before she agrees to see her friends. If you call her whenever she leaves the house to see if she really is where she claims she was going. If you ask her to take pictures for proof. If you make her feel like she is not trusted, like she in completely under your control.

You will lose an independent girl if you try to take away her independence. If you expect her to change her entire lifestyle now that she is your girlfriend. If you want her to give up all the little pieces of herself that make her her. If you fail to appreciate her strength and act like you want a damsel instead. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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