1. You overcompensate by acting like you don’t care. You tell him that you are perfectly fine with your arrangement because you’re worried he will end things if you hint at how much you like him. You try to act casual. You try to act emotionless. You try to act like being just a friend isn’t killing you inside.
2. You subtly push your boundaries. Once in a while, you will casually reach over to grab his hand or run your hand through his hair. You will ask him about something personal or buy him a piece of candy he mentioned to you when you first met. You will try to make him think of you as girlfriend material without being too obvious about it.
3. You will overanalyze every little move he makes. When he texts you earlier than usual, you will wonder if it constitutes as a morning text and whether that means he is falling for you, too. You will keep your eyes open for signs that he is changing the way he feels about you. You will swear it’s only a matter of time until he decides he would rather date than continue this FWB business, because you cannot believe your feelings are one-sided. You’re sure he must feel something too.
4. You overthink every little move you make. You don’t want to push him too hard or come on too strong. But you don’t want to miss out on opportunities with him either. That’s why you’re careful about how many times you text him first and how happy you look when you get to spend time with him on the weekend.
5. You lie to your friends about him. Some of the things he has done would make him look bad and you don’t want them to hate him just in case you start dating him sometime in the future. That’s why you leave certain things out of your stories. You keep the bad memories to yourself and cry when no one else is looking.
6. You become paranoid. Every girl you see turns into your competition because there must be a reason why he isn’t dating you yet. Maybe it’s because he likes another girl. Maybe it’s because there is someone else in his life he is waiting to have. Maybe it’s because you are only the backup plan.
7. You stop looking at your other options, you stop calling yourself single. Even though you are ‘technically’ allowed to see other people, you would never dream of kissing anybody else. He is the only guy you want.
8. You try too hard. You dress up every time you see him. You shave every inch of your body. You laugh at his stupid jokes. You spend hours hoping to impress him.
9. You end up hating yourself. You question why you were good enough to sleep with him but not good enough to date him. You wonder where you went wrong and whether you ever could have changed his mind. You hate yourself for losing him because you never wanted anything as much as you wanted him.
10. You end up hating him. You hate him for being so nice to you. You hate him for being so cute. You hate him for leading you on. Even though he technically said he wasn’t interested in a relationship, he misled you with his actions. He made you think he was eventually going to change his mind. And you hate him for that.