Relationships Are Supposed To Hurt Like Hell

A couple in a relationship
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Honey Yanibel Minaya Cruz

Your person isn’t supposed to hurt you by coming home late and canceling plans and treating you like a backup plan. They aren’t supposed to hurt you by making nasty comments during arguments and poking fun at your favorite activities and acting like you are a general annoyance. They aren’t supposed to hurt you by screwing you over, apologizing, and then doing the exact same thing again and again.

Your person is not supposed to actively make your world more stressful than necessary. By causing pointless drama. By making you feel horrible about yourself. That is not the way love is supposed to hurt.

It’s only supposed to hurt when they have to take a plane and you’re worried about whether it’s going to land safely. When they have an important meeting and you’re worried because you know how nervous they were and hope they are feeling okay. When you know there is a chance something bad could happen and pray that it works out fine.

It’s only supposed to hurt when you are forced to spend a few weeks apart and miss each other so much that your stomachs hurt. When you wish you could be in the same room together, holding hands, but are unable to make that happen. When you are talking on the phone for hours even though all you really want to do is cuddle on the couch and watch mindless television.

It’s only supposed to hurt when they are upset about a death in the family and there is nothing you can do to fix the situation. You can only sit beside them and squeeze their hand. You can only repeat how you are there for them and will help them with whatever they need, even though you would take the pain away and deal with it yourself if it were possible.

It’s only supposed to hurt when they are awaiting results from the doctor or have an operation in the hospital and there’s nothing you can do except wait to see what happens. When you are powerless to change the situation. When you want to find a way to make everything okay again but aren’t sure how that would be possible.

Your relationship is only supposed to hurt because you care about each other so much that their sadness is your sadness, that their life is intertwined with your own, that your hearts beat as a single unit.

It’s not supposed to hurt because you’re the only one who cares. It’s not supposed to hurt because they neglect you while you give them every little piece of yourself. It’s not supposed to hurt because they are only nice on certain days and mean on all of the others.

Love is only supposed to hurt because you two couldn’t imagine what you would do without each other. Because you want what is best for each other. Because you love each other with such intensity it makes your stomach clench and your heart beat double. TC mark

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