I Won’t Let You Ruin My World

A woman in her own world
Unsplash / Joanna Nix

I am not going to let my anger ruin my life. I am not going to lower myself to your level. I am not going to lash out at you and get myself in trouble. I am not going to drink my problems away. I am not going to break my hand punching a wall or get arrested for keying your car or look pathetic by posting about you on social media. I am not going to let you impact me in such a self-destructive way.

Just because your life sucks doesn’t mean that mine has to suck. Your negative energy is not going to rub off on me. I am not going to become a copy of you. I am too mature. I love myself too much.

I am not going to feel shitty about myself because someone who is manipulative, bitter, and abusive says mean things about me. Your curse words mean nothing. Your insults mean nothing. You mean nothing.

I am doing well for myself. I have a million good things in my world. You are the only negative and you are not going to stay around for long. I am doing my best to remove you from the equation. Soon, I am never going to see your face again.

I am going to block your number from my phone. I am going to delete you from every form of social media. I am going to become a ghost, a fading memory and a crumpled picture in your wallet.

You can continue to live your miserable life without me. You can find someone else to bully, because I know the chances are slim you are ever going to change. You are comfortable the way you are. You are unable to see you’re playing the role of the bad guy because you are delusional. You blame everyone else when something goes wrong. You are unable to take responsibility for your actions. You see the world with a blurry lens. You make up facts to suit your beliefs. You are unstable and unhinged.

Once you are removed from my world, my stress levels are going to decrease. My anxiety is going to soften. I am going to experience a peacefulness that was impossible with you in the picture. I am finally going to relax for a change.

To be honest, there is a part of me that still wants to get revenge on you. I want to make you pay for everything you have put me through. I want you to know what it feels like to suffer at the hands of someone who supposedly loves you. But I am never going to do any of those things. I don’t have to do any of those things. I don’t have to lift a finger, because you are going to suffer enough without me. You are going to feel like you’re already in hell.

Your punishment is losing me. Your punishment is realizing you’re such a piece of shit that even I have had enough of you. Even I am never going to speak to you again. TC mark

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