Are One-Sided Relationships My Own Fault?

God & Man

I wonder whether the reason I keep ending up in one-sided relationships is because of me. I will answer texts in the middle of the night, even if you ignored the last few messages that I sent. I will rearrange my schedule to see you. I will cancel plans to see you. I will drive miles to see you.

When I have strong feelings for you, I will make you a priority. I will drop anything for you. I will be there for you whenever you need me.

I have never seen the point of playing games. I would never want to make someone I care about feel worthless by sending mixed signals or acting distant. I want you to feel loved. I want you to know how much I care.

That is why I say yes whenever I’m asked a favor and sorry whenever even the smallest thing goes wrong. I want to spread happiness. I want to make sure you feel safe and secure around me. I never want you to doubt whether I am going to leave. I want you to feel confident I am going to stay and I am going to fight for you.

Of course, sometimes I feel like I’m too nice. Too lenient. Too forgiving. I let myself get walked over because I’m scared of speaking my mind and being left alone again.

I keep ending up in one-sided relationships because I give much more than I expect to receive in return. I never ask for anything. I am not greedy. I am happy with a small amount of affection.

I don’t mind doing all of the work in a relationship. I will send the first text. I will plan the dates. I will remember birthdays and anniversaries so you don’t have to do it yourself. All I want in return is appreciation. A thank you. That would be enough to satisfy me.

I am a giver. I give the benefit of the doubt. I give second chances. I give all of my attention to the person who holds my heart and in the end I get screwed over anyway.

People walk away from me even though I did everything for them. Even though I asked for so little in return. No one ever appreciates how much effort I put into relationships. They don’t seem to notice how much energy I waste on them because they aren’t paying close enough attention. Or maybe they just don’t care.

Maybe I should be more demanding. Maybe I should ask for more. Maybe I should stop trying so hard to make others fall in love with me and say screw you if they are not willing to put in as much effort as I do.

Maybe it’s partially my own fault I keep ending up in one-sided relationships. Maybe I need to raise my standards and lower my tolerance for bullshit. Maybe I need someone who cares about me as much as I care about them. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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