33 Hilarious Breakup Lines (That Are Much Better Than Any Cheesy Pickup Lines)

You have probably been hit on with a corny pickup line before. But you would never want one of these hilarious breakup lines from Ask Reddit used on you.
A hilarious woman
Unsplash / Courtney Prather

1. Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me? — HecticHazard

2. I figured out a really quick way to lose 120lbs… — mellenger

3. We haven’t got chemistry. What we’ve got is history. We’re over. — Catch22ismybible

4. Do you have bad reception? Because I think we’re breaking up. — SlimWalletDude

5. See these muscles? I got them carrying this relationship and now I’m tired. — droo46

6. Baby did you fall from heaven? Because you remind me of Satan. — Beard_of_Valor

7. I seem to have lost your phone number, can you lose mine? — thatsnotmyname66

8. Are you a bank? Because I need you to leave me a loan. — postbed

9. Are you being followed? Because I’m seeing people behind your back. — Plaid_the_Imposter

10. I put a mirror on the door so you can see yourself out. — Semantiks

11. Our relationship is like diarrhea, it’s making me uncomfortable and I just want it to end. — BigBuski

12. Call me the tonka truck cuz you’re getting dumped. — immatipyou

13. We’ll cover more ground if we split up. — dewayneestes

14. Take the “L” out of “lover” and it’s “over.” — OstensiblyMusical

15. My love for you is like a star in the night sky; it died a long time ago, you just haven’t realized it yet. — DiopticTurtle

16. The only thing that looks good on you is distance. — Mirthaar

17. Call me Stevie Wonder because I’m not seeing you anymore. — X-25

18. It isn’t you; it’s me. I don’t like you. — KaylaChinga

19. Hey girl, are you the Vietnam War? Because in hindsight, you were a pretty bad idea. — brokensilence32

20. Are you a math book? Cause you sure have a lot of fuckin’ problems! — the12thghostface

21. See that dress lying on the floor? It would look better on you and out the door. — ScorpSt

22. Hey boy — are you the work week? Because I am so looking forward to the end of this! — clowns_in_my_coffee

23. Hey baby, are you a fire alarm? Because you’re pretty loud and annoying! — Anti_Snowflake_2

24. I’m giving you up for lent. — curmudgeonlylion

25. We’re just two awesome puzzle pieces in the universe that don’t fit together right now. — migeme

26. Are you a tree? Because fucking leave. — AbstractActa

27. Wanna see a magic trick? Poof you’re single. — AlligatorAss

28. Baby, are you an astronaut? Cause I want you off this planet and out of my world. — millhouze

29. Sorry girl, but this relationship has gone to relationshit. — 421_Glaze_It

30. Are you last week’s chicken? Because you’ve got expired written all over you. — funpowder_plot

31. Are you a bank because your terms are confusing and I have no interest in you. — Simusid

32. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would realize “U” and “I” need to be apart. — PM_MeTittiesOrKitty

33. You must be an angel, because I feel like I’m dead when you’re around. — dylaxius TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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