33 Hilarious Breakup Lines (That Are Much Better Than Any Cheesy Pickup Lines)

You have probably been hit on with a corny pickup line before. But you would never want one of these hilarious breakup lines from Ask Reddit used on you.
A hilarious woman
Unsplash / Courtney Prather

1. Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me? — HecticHazard

2. I figured out a really quick way to lose 120lbs… — mellenger

3. We haven’t got chemistry. What we’ve got is history. We’re over. — Catch22ismybible

4. Do you have bad reception? Because I think we’re breaking up. — SlimWalletDude

5. See these muscles? I got them carrying this relationship and now I’m tired. — droo46

6. Baby did you fall from heaven? Because you remind me of Satan. — Beard_of_Valor

7. I seem to have lost your phone number, can you lose mine? — thatsnotmyname66

8. Are you a bank? Because I need you to leave me a loan. — postbed

9. Are you being followed? Because I’m seeing people behind your back. — Plaid_the_Imposter

10. I put a mirror on the door so you can see yourself out. — Semantiks

11. Our relationship is like diarrhea, it’s making me uncomfortable and I just want it to end. — BigBuski

12. Call me the tonka truck cuz you’re getting dumped. — immatipyou

13. We’ll cover more ground if we split up. — dewayneestes

14. Take the “L” out of “lover” and it’s “over.” — OstensiblyMusical

15. My love for you is like a star in the night sky; it died a long time ago, you just haven’t realized it yet. — DiopticTurtle

16. The only thing that looks good on you is distance. — Mirthaar

17. Call me Stevie Wonder because I’m not seeing you anymore. — X-25

18. It isn’t you; it’s me. I don’t like you. — KaylaChinga

19. Hey girl, are you the Vietnam War? Because in hindsight, you were a pretty bad idea. — brokensilence32

20. Are you a math book? Cause you sure have a lot of fuckin’ problems! — the12thghostface

21. See that dress lying on the floor? It would look better on you and out the door. — ScorpSt

22. Hey boy — are you the work week? Because I am so looking forward to the end of this! — clowns_in_my_coffee

23. Hey baby, are you a fire alarm? Because you’re pretty loud and annoying! — Anti_Snowflake_2

24. I’m giving you up for lent. — curmudgeonlylion

25. We’re just two awesome puzzle pieces in the universe that don’t fit together right now. — migeme

26. Are you a tree? Because fucking leave. — AbstractActa

27. Wanna see a magic trick? Poof you’re single. — AlligatorAss

28. Baby, are you an astronaut? Cause I want you off this planet and out of my world. — millhouze

29. Sorry girl, but this relationship has gone to relationshit. — 421_Glaze_It

30. Are you last week’s chicken? Because you’ve got expired written all over you. — funpowder_plot

31. Are you a bank because your terms are confusing and I have no interest in you. — Simusid

32. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would realize “U” and “I” need to be apart. — PM_MeTittiesOrKitty

33. You must be an angel, because I feel like I’m dead when you’re around. — dylaxius TC mark

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