1. There is always a part of you wondering whether you are annoying. But you don’t want to keep asking whether you are annoying because you know the question alone can be annoying.
2. You overthink texts. It can take you a long time to answer a simple message because you don’t want to come across the wrong way. You don’t want your reply to be too short and ruin the conversation before it really gets going, but you don’t want to say too much and accidentally overshare either.
3. You have a habit of cancelling plans. The relief of getting to stay home only lasts for a second because then you start worrying that no one will ever invite you out again because you never show up. The last thing you want is for the people who mean the most to you to assume you aren’t interested in hanging out with them.
4. You’re quiet in groups. If your friend invites an extra person to dinner you didn’t realize was coming, you might clam up. You might feel uncomfortable. You might not add a single word to the conversation and you’ll end up looking snobby when you’re secretly only anxious.
5. You feel like you have no real friends. Even when there are people in your world who clearly care about you, who reach out to you on weekends and calm you down when you are upset, there is still a piece of your mind warning you they are not your real friends. You become paranoid because your anxiety makes you doubt your worth. It makes you feel like there is no possible way anyone would actually enjoy spending time with you.
6. You distance yourself. Since you are afraid of looking annoying, and also afraid of getting hurt, you push people away. You avoid talking about yourself. You keep the conversation focused on the other person so they never learn too much about you.
7. You like to leave parties early. Sometimes socializing becomes too much for you and you need to escape before the night ends. You can’t help it.
8. You need to know everything ahead of time. You won’t agree to plans unless you know exactly where you are meeting and what time you should show up and who else is going to be there. You don’t like surprises. You like to have a plan set up beforehand so you know what you are getting yourself into.
9. You have a hard time making conversation. Unless you are comfortable with someone, you have a hard time finding things to talk about with them. You never know what to say. It’s why you feel like it’s so hard to form new friendships.
10. You don’t like to leave the house. You usually aren’t interested in going to loud parties and crowded bars. You would rather hang out in someone’s house with a much smaller group of people.
11. You send embarrassing texts. During your panic attacks, you will text your friends about how much you are struggling and how you need their help. But as soon as you are relaxed again, you will get embarrassed about all of the things you wrote and wish you could take them back.
12. Your friendships are stronger than most. Even though there are times when you feel like the worst friend in the world because you take too long to text back and cancel plans, the truth is that you are loyal. You are funny. You are a sweetheart. It takes you a while to get comfortable around new people, but once you consider them a friend, they are a friend for life.