You Are Allowed To Hold Grudges

A girl holding grudges
Unsplash / Florian Pérennès

You are allowed to cut people out of your world if they hurt you one too many times.

You are allowed to say you deserve more.

You are allowed to hold grudges.

Don’t get guilt tripped into forgiving someone who is toxic. Don’t let outsiders convince you to do the right thing and take the high road.

Sometimes the right thing is not blindly allowing someone back into your world so they can take advantage of you for the hundredth time. Sometimes the right thing is to cut contact and take separate paths.

You’re not a bad person for raising your standards. You’re not a traitor for walking away after putting up with abuse for so long. 

You are allowed to decide someone — your boyfriend or your best friend or your father — is unhealthy for you.

You are allowed to ignore their texts when you know the conversation is going to turn into another fight.

You are allowed to reject their apologizes when you know they are bound to go right back to doing what they just said sorry about.

You are allowed to decide that, even though someone meant the world to you once upon a time, even though you might still love them to this day, they have lost the privilege of being a part of your world.

If someone hurts you, you don’t have to give them a second (or third or fourth) chance. You don’t have to play nice.

You are allowed to put your foot down. You are allowed to speak your mind. You are allowed to say goodbye.

Don’t let anyone else make you feel bad about your decision. Don’t let them tell you that you’re being overly dramatic or that you’re being ungrateful after all that person has done for you. Don’t let anyone rewrite your story.

They don’t know what you have been through. You can give them the rundown, but they will never really understand. That’s why this decision is yours and yours alone.

You have to remember that you are allowed to cut someone out of your world if they have made you cry yourself to sleep at night. 

You are allowed to cut someone out of your world if they have caused an increase in your stress and anxiety.

You are allowed to cut someone out of your world if they have said unforgivable things you can never erase from your memory.

You don’t have to get over it a week after it happened or a year later or twenty years later. You do not owe them your forgiveness because some time has passed. 

You should not feel guilty about saying goodbye to people who have mistreated you. Maybe you have known each other for your entire lives. Maybe you love each other. But that isn’t a reason to stay.

You are allowed to leave old friendships, past relationships, toxic parents. You are allowed to cut anyone out of your world. No one is immune.

You are allowed to hold grudges. You are allowed to still be angry after all this time. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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