Cutting someone out of your world is more difficult than it sounds. This person might have been toxic. This person might have made your life a living hell. You might want nothing to do with this person moving forward — but that doesn’t mean saying goodbye to them is going to be easy.
Cutting someone out of your world means more than deleting their contact information from your phone and removing them from social media. There is always a chance they are going to pop up anyway. You might see them under your recommended friends on Facebook. You might see them smiling in a friend’s picture. Every time they make an appearance on your timeline, you will feel your stomach drop. You will hate the little reminders that they exist because you were trying your hardest to forget about them.
Cutting someone out of your world means looking like the bad guy. There will be times when you have to explain to your friends and family why you are no longer associated with this specific person and they will not always be on your side. Some people will act like you are a horrible person for cutting someone out of your world who did so much for you, someone who you shared so much history with. They will tell you to stop holding a grudge. They will accuse you of being overemotional. They won’t understand that you had to do what you have done for your own mental health.
Cutting someone out of your world means having the temptation to confront them. It means writing out mean texts but deleting them before pressing send. It means resisting the urge to fight. It means taking the high road when it would be so easy to drive to their house, slash their tires, and curse them out for all of the bullshit they have put you through. It means acting mature instead of stooping down to their level.
Cutting someone out of your world means watching your words when you are around mutual friends because you don’t want certain things to get back to this person you no longer want in your life. It means figuring out whom will pass which information to whom. It means censoring yourself to protect yourself.
Cutting someone out of your world means freaking out when you’re invited to a mutual friend’s party because there is a chance you will run into the last person you ever wanted to see again. If your social groups overlap, it means you will be forced to see them again because you don’t want to say no to an event just to avoid them. You don’t want them to ruin your fun. That wouldn’t be fair to you.
Cutting someone out of your world means actively choosing to place yourself first. It means saying screw what other people think and doing what is best for your own sanity. It means making sure you are okay because you can’t keep worrying about other people.