If You Want A Second Chance, You Have To Earn It

A girl who wants a second chance
God & Man

I am not the same girl who used to distribute second chances like candy. I am not going to allow someone toxic to remain in my world, repeating the same mistakes over and over while I suffer for it.

If you want a second chance, you have to earn it.

You have to show me that you mean it when you say you are sorry. You can’t go right back to doing the same thing you got busted for doing before. You have to make an active change to your behavior.

Your promises aren’t enough. You can beg me to stay until you are blue in the face, but if your actions don’t back up your words, then I am not going to stick around. I am not going to let you hurt me the same way twice.

If you want a second chance, then you cannot take my forgiveness as a cue to go back to mistreating me. You are lucky if I forgive you. If I forgive you, then you better not make me regret it. You better show me I made the right decision, because I am never too attached to walk away.

I am never going to apologize for having high standards. For expecting everyone in my world, from friends to relatives to lovers, to treat me with respect.

It doesn’t matter how much history we have, how much we have been through together, because I do not owe you anything. Not my time. Not my attention. And certainly not my forgiveness.

I get to choose whether or not I forgive you. I get to choose whether or not you still have a place in my universe.

Even though I have high expectations for the people surrounding me, I am not unreasonable. I understand that everyone makes mistakes. I have made my fair share and will make plenty more in the future. That is why, if you show genuine regret for hurting me, then I am open to the possibility of giving you another chance.

But you cannot expect me to roll over and let you walk over me without fighting back. You cannot expect me to listen to your bullshit excuses and take them at face value. You cannot expect me to forgive you without hearing an apology first.

If you want another chance, you have to own up to what you have done. You can’t blame me for your mistakes. You can’t blame the world for them either. You need to take responsibility for your own actions. You need to show me your mature side.

As much as I hate removing people from my world, I realize it is something I have to do occasionally. I cannot keep letting people take advantage of my kindness. I cannot keep forgiving someone for the same mistake when it is clear they haven’t learned their lesson.

Second chances are something I will always consider, but you are never going to get a third chance from me. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog