I Always Overthink And It’s Ruining My Life

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A girl who always overthinks
Unsplash / Flavio Gasperini

I always overthink, especially when it comes to relationships. When I develop feelings for someone, I will overthink what to wear in front of them. When to approach them. What to say to them. Whether I have a chance or am only wasting my time.

If that person flirts with me, I will go over the interaction again and again in my mind until I’m confused about whether they actually were flirting or were only being friendly.

If someone texts me, I will rewrite my reply ten times before pressing send. Even once the text is out there, once there is no taking it back, I will debate whether I sounded stupid, whether the other person is going to think I’m an idiot, whether I should have written something completely different.

If I manage to make it through the first round of social interaction and someone actually asks me on a date, I will run every possible scenario through my head until I am no longer excited about going and am terrified instead.

I overthink until my stomach is sick. I overthink until my anxiety acts up.

I can’t charge headfirst into social situations without preparing beforehand. If I have a phone call to make, I am going to rehearse what I should say (or even write down what I should say on a piece of paper) beforehand. If I am going to a new place, I will find a map on Google to avoid walking around mindlessly.

I prepare conversation topics ahead of time. I prepare outfits ahead of time. I prepare as thoroughly as the situation allows, because I don’t trust myself in the moment. I am awkward. I am unsure. I have no idea what I’m doing which is why I need some time to figure it out beforehand.

Unknown situations scare me, because I never know what to prepare for. I never know what I should expect.

Unless I can predict what is going to happen, I am uncomfortable. I don’t like spontaneous trips and last second plans because then I don’t have the time to think about what the night is going to hold.

I have grown so used to overthinking that it’s hard for me to think on the spot.

Sometimes my overthinking is a blessing, because when I have an interview or a meeting, I prepare for hours and look like I actually know what I’m talking about.

Other times, my overthinking is a burden. It convinces me to turn down plans. It tells me that I am going to make a fool of myself and should save myself the embarrassment.

Because of my overthinking, little things like sending a text or answering the phone become big things. Things I am not sure if I can handle.

I have trouble enjoying the moment, even when I should be relaxed, because I am always waiting for something horrible to happen. I am always stuck in my head, worrying about something far in the future. TC mark

Be Inspired 💫

“I hope you heal. I hope you find yourself again. I hope you find something that burns a fire in your soul. I hope you find the rays of sunlight even on your darkest days. I want you to know that you’re going to be okay.” — Shivani Sonawane

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This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
Let go now
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