1. You spend the majority of your time together upset. You are either giving them the silent treatment, waiting for them to figure out you’re upset and ask you what is wrong, or you’re busy arguing with each other over the same exact thing you argued about the night before. You spend all week looking forward to seeing them, but when you’re actually together, you rarely end up having a good time.
2. You are never happy. You’re always complaining about something. Maybe it’s the temperature of the room. Or maybe it’s the way your person looked at you. The point is that you’re supposed to be happier around the love of your life. If you’re finding stupid little things to whine about, then you’re probably not with the right one.
3. You are constantly keeping score. You could list out who did the dishes the last ten times. You can remember who picked up the check two months ago. You keep track of everything your person does (or more accurately doesn’t) do for you so you can use it against them in the future.
4. Sex is the best part of your relationship. When you’re in the bedroom, you feel like you are exactly where you are meant to be. But when you have all your clothes on, you don’t get along as well. In fact, whenever you have a fight, sex is usually what fixes things. You don’t come to a compromise. You just come.
5. You have to walk on eggshells around each other. There are certain stories you keep from your person because you know it would upset them. There are certain shows you watch behind their back. There are certain things you would never dream of telling them because you know it would lead to another fight.
6. You spend a lot of time looking at other people. Maybe even flirting with other people. A part of you wonders whether you would be happier with someone else. Whether you are stuck in the wrong relationship.
7. You spend most of your time apart. You don’t have any of the same hobbies. You don’t have any of the same friends. Neither of you are willing to try something new, so you spend most of your time doing your own thing. You have two completely separate lives that barely overlap.
8. You don’t work well as a team. You have trouble building furniture together, cooking together, playing games together, etc. You can never find the right rhythm. You both work better on your own.
9. You ‘joke’ about leaving each other. You joke about breaking up with them. They joke about how much nicer their next partner is going to be. You act like you’re teasing each other, but you’re actually being assholes.
10. You make nasty little comments about each other. You don’t fight in public, but you complain in front of everyone. Your friends always feel awkward when they go out with you because you make jokes at each other’s expense and they have no idea how to respond.
11. You complain about them behind their back. When you’re with friends, you end up listing off a million reasons why you’re frustrated with your person. Once you start complaining, you can’t stop. You have a lot to say.
12. Or you lie about them to friends. Maybe you don’t want your friends to know half of the things your person has done to you lately, because then they would tell you to break up. They would call you an idiot for staying. So you lie.
13. You never laugh at each other’s jokes. You don’t find your person funny and they don’t find you funny. You’ll laugh at all of their friends’ jokes but you’ll never even crack a smile when your person talks. Most of the time, when they think they’re being funny, they’re actually being annoying. Everything they do irritates you.
14. Telling them certain things slips your mind. You don’t purposely keep secrets from them, but you accidentally forget to tell them about your big promotion and your fight with your parents. There are a million other people you run to with the news first, people you would rather tell.
15. When you’re with them, you wish you were somewhere else. Time with them feels like a waste. You always think about the things you could have been doing instead. Getting work finished. Seeing friends. Catching up on Netflix…
16. You keep telling yourself everything will work out in the future. Once you get married, once you have a baby together, once you are living together, everything is going to be fine. That’s what you keep saying. It’s your way of distracting yourself from how bad things are right now. It’s your way of creating a fake reality.
17. You have broken up multiple times. You never stay together for long. After a few months of dating, you miss being alone. But after a few months of being alone, you miss dating. You keep running back to them because they are familiar when really you should be running away because they have already proven they are bad for you.