Why Passionate Girls Are Attracted To Toxic Boys

We are attracted to drama. When the relationship is comfortable, we feel uneasy. We want our person to be jealous of who we’re texting. We want our person to start fights with us in the middle of the night for no reason at all. We see those extreme emotions and call it passion. We think if things are too quiet for too long then it isn’t real love, because real love is noisy. Real love is messy.

We are attracted to mixed signals. We claim we hate the confusion, but we keep going back to these kind of boys time and time again. The truth is, we are okay with unanswered texts and canceled plans as long as long as he makes up for it the next day. As long as he eventually gives us the attention he should have given us all along. 

We are attracted to incomplete people. We like to fix things. We like to think we are strong enough to cause someone else to change. In our eyes, fixing him is a way to show our love for him. That is why we are attracted to such broken boys. That is why we end up in relationships where we say things will be better once [this] happens… 

We are attracted to immaturity. We are control freaks. We want to have everything our way. We want to be in charge. We want to feel like we are needed. And when we are dating someone who doesn’t have their life together, we get to be the one with all the answers. The one who gives out advice instead of getting it. It makes us feel more powerful.

We are attracted to bad boys. It’s hard for us to turn down someone with tattoos and a motorcycle, because we are so adventurous and impulsive. Besides, bad boys bring out the butterflies. Sex with them is always wild, because they are unafraid of having quickies in the back of the car or in the middle of a bathroom stall. They turn our most exciting fantasies into our reality. 

We are attracted to pain. When we date someone toxic, we get the chance to complain. We get to feel sorry for ourselves. We get to whine about how we deserve better. A part of us likes to date people who are beneath our standards, because we know the relationship isn’t going to end well. When things fall apart, we are disappointed, but we aren’t surprised. We expected it to happen so it doesn’t hurt as much.

We are attracted to adventure. When we date someone toxic, we never know what we are going to get, and we enjoy the unpredictability. We have been in healthy relationships before and for the most part, they bored us, because there was no excitement. No adrenaline. No flutter in the stomach.

We are attracted to all the wrong people. People who only want us for one thing. People who fail to see our value. People who would never be able to make a relationship last long.