Aries: March 21st – April 19th
You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard.
Taurus: April 20th – May 20th
Do you like Adele? Because I can tell that you want to be rolling in the D.
Gemini: May 21st – June 20th
Hi, I’m wasted, but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be.
Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd
Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd
If I’m a pain in your ass… We can just add more lube.
Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd
Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.
Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd
You’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux.
Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st
Are you a termite? Because you’re about to have a mouth full of wood.
Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st
Roses or daises? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th
Do you like cherries? If not, can I have yours?
Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th
Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire?
Pisces: February 19th – March 20th
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of semen waiting for you! 
