Relationships are supposed to be reliable. Dependable. Consistent.
Unpredictability and mystery might be sexy at first, but the allure of mixed signals dies down fast.
You don’t want your expectations to rise every time you hear a notification sound and have them drop the second you check the screen because — of course — it’s not him. It’s your best friend or your mother or your phone company offering you a deal.
In the beginning, the rush of butterflies you get every time he actually does text back makes the waiting worth it. You can’t stay mad at him for ignoring you three days in a row, because you are too busy being excited bout the fact that he finally answered. That he’s in the mood to talk to you. That he remembers you exist.
Instead of calling him out for going MIA, you treat him even better than before, because you’re trying to convince him to stick around this time. You’re hoping he won’t pull a vanishing act twice in a row. You’re hoping if you’re charming enough, funny enough, hot enough, that he will behave differently this time.
But you are fooling yourself. You are only encouraging his bullshit behavior. You’re making him think it’s okay when he ignores you, because you never get mad. You never even bring it up. You act like nothing happened and continue to treat him the same, because you are too afraid of losing him to speak up to him.
He keeps picking and choosing when to answer your texts, because he knows that no matter what time of night he sends a message, he’s going to get a reply. He knows you will never make him wait the way he keeps making you wait, and that makes him feel powerful. That is why he will never stop swiveling between answering your texts at lightening speed and waiting a week to acknowledge that you texted.
You can tell a lot about a boy by the way he treats you over text. You don’t want a relationship where you are constantly questioning what you mean to him. Where you are always guessing whether he is going to treat you as a priority or a second choice on any given day.
You want someone who is going to reply to your texts as soon as they get the chance to answer. Someone who only makes you wait when there is no other choice. Someone who looks forward to talking to you, whether it is over the phone or face-to-face, because you make their day brighter.
The right person will put in effort, even when it comes to something as seemingly small as texting. They will never make you feel neglected, because you will always be the main thing on their mind.
Never forget that you deserve attention. You deserve to be seen. You deserve an answer to a damn text.
If he can’t even give you that much, then he is not worth another second of your time.