If You Don’t Chase After Me (At Least A Little) I’m Not Going To Waste My Time With You

A guy chasing a girl
Unsplash / Vince Fleming

If you don’t chase after me, I’m not going to waste my time with you.

When I say you should chase after me, I don’t mean you should show up at my place of work unexpectedly and call me three times in a row when I fail to answer the first time. I don’t mean you should settle for a one-sided relationship with me where you’re doing all the work.

I am not going to play hard to get. I am not going to look at your text, ignore it, and hope that you text me a second time once you realize I’m not going to answer. I am not going to treat you like you’re invisible because I have been in that situation before and know how unfair it is.

When I say I want you to chase me, what I mean is that I want you to show enthusiasm. I want you to put in actual effort instead of doing the minimum amount and assuming that will woo me.

I want you to text me first when you wake up before me. I want you to ask me whether I’m free over the weekend instead of waiting for me to do the honors. I want you to show your interest in more ways than liking my pictures and snapping me pictures of your own.

When I say I want you to chase after me, I mean I don’t want you to give up easily. When something is clearly bothering me and I tell you I’m fine, I don’t want you to leave me alone for the night. I don’t want you to settle for my silence. I want you to remind me I can tell you anything. I want you to convince me to open up to you.

Or when you ask me to hang out at the last second and I tell you I’m busy, I don’t want you to consider that a rejection. I want you to work with me. I want you to communicate with me so we can rearrange our schedules to find a time that works for both of us. I want you to show me you care about seeing me. I want you to prove that hanging out with me is not just a last minute idea when you’re bored.

When I say I want you to chase after me, I mean I want you to put energy into our relationship instead of letting whatever happens happen. I don’t want to be the one pursuing you all the time. I want to take turns. I want you to plan dates some days and me to plan other days. I want you to text first sometimes and me to text first sometimes. I want to swap roles. I want to stay equal.

When I say I want you to chase after me, I mean I want a balanced relationship. A relationship where I don’t have to wonder whether you truly care about me or whether you are only using me. A relationship where we are best friends. A relationship where we are teammatesTC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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