When I first met you, I felt the chemistry right away. We had a long, comfortable conversation and even once you were out of eyesight, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You left a strong impact on my heart.
I assumed our flirting meant something. I assumed I meant something.
In the beginning, I expected us to end up in a relationship. I thought there was a bright future in store for us.
But it turns out you treat everyone the same way. You use the same cute comments. The same compliments. The same smirks.
I should have guessed I didn’t mean anything to you, but I looked too far into our flirtatious conversations. I told myself what I wanted to hear.
Looking back, I feel like an idiot for assuming you would like me. But can you really blame me?
I’m not the kind of person who flirts with everyone I come across. It takes me a long time to get used to people. I’m not good at socializing. I have close friends, but I don’t have many friends. When I connect with someone, it means a lot to me.
When I saw how well we got along, I instantly became attached. I started fantasizing about our future. I started planning dates you would never take me on and thinking about words you would never say.
Maybe it was silly of me to assume you were interested since, to most people, kissing isn’t a big deal. Sex isn’t even a big deal. But with me, something as small as flirting is a big deal. I don’t put my heart on the line often.
That’s why it was so heartbreaking when I found out you treat everyone the same way you treated me.
For a split second, I actually thought I was special. I never even considered the possibility I was only one of multiple girls that you were texting before bed, that you were calling cute, that you were flirting with nonstop.
I thought you felt the same way about me. I thought the compliments were authentic. I thought the texts were signs of how much you cared.
Now that I know the truth, it’s hard to get excited when you text me because I keep imagining another girl in your bed while you’re typing. I can’t even believe you when you compliment me, because I know you give those words out like candy.
As much as I like you, I’m not going to waste any more of my time with you, because I am not a second choice. I am not a backup plan. I am not the other woman or the girl you can resort to when everyone else is busy.
In the beginning, you made me feel like I was actually worth something, but now you make me feel like I’m just another number. Like I’m interchangeable. Like I don’t mean anything to you. At least, not nearly as much as you mean to me.