I Am Done Letting You Hurt Me

I’m done letting you hurt me.

I’m walking away for good this time.

You can apologize to me over text if you want, because you’re never going to see me in person again, but you won’t get a response.

I don’t care if your words make me cry or scream or curse. No matter what my reaction is, you aren’t going to know about it. You’ll have to wonder, the same way I have been wondering all this time. Wondering if you’ll ever change. Wondering if you’ll ever realize how much heartache you have put me through.

It’s funny how upset you suddenly seem about losing me when you never seemed all that concerned about keeping me.

At this point, you don’t know the real me. You think you do, because you’ve been inside my world for such a long time, but I have grown over the years. I have become someone else — and you haven’t taken the time to sit me down and discover the ways I have developed.

You don’t know my favorite songs anymore. You don’t know how work is going. You don’t know what my goals are for the next few years. You don’t even know the most basic things about me.

You say you love me, but words are not enough. Your actions are the opposite of love. You treat me like an afterthought and then you turn around and swear that I mean everything to you.

You don’t make any sense to me. After our worst arguments, you’ll attempt to talk to me like everything is okay. I never even get an apology. I just get to watch you act like yesterday never happened, because you’re too much of a coward to deal with the things you have done.

I have kept you around for so long because the idea of letting you go never even crossed my mind. I thought you were going to remain in my world forever. I thought that was the way things had to be. I didn’t realize I had an option.

I kept giving you chance after chance, but you kept giving me more and more reasons to walk away. You never appreciated how lenient I was with your mistakes. You just assumed I would always be there. You never thought I would find the guts to leave you behind.

It took me a long time to realize what I deserve — maybe too long — but now that I have had the realization, there is no going back. I am not going to let you take advantage of my soft heart anymore.

And I am not going to feel guilty for doing what is best for myself for a change, because I spent so damn long putting you first. Even though I still care about you, I can’t keep you in my world for any longer.

After all this time, I am finally done letting you hurt me. I am done trying to make us okay again, because there is nothing more I can do to fix this.