Expecting Your Person To Put In Effort Does Not Mean You Have Unreasonable Standards

A girl with standards
Unsplash / Robb Leahy

You are not picky. Your standards are not unreasonable.

Stop letting others convince you that you’re asking for too much. You are barely asking for anything. You are asking for the minimum amount possible.

All you want is for your person to answer your texts without leaving you waiting for five hours. To be honest. To stay loyal. To follow through on the plans they set with you and keep their promises for a change.

If someone is unable to reach your expectations, they are the problem, not you.

Never compromise your morals for another person. Never lower your standards to keep someone in your world who clearly does not deserve it.

It is not unreasonable to expect someone to slap a label onto your relationship instead of seeing where things go.

It is not unreasonable to expect someone to answer your texts instead of ignoring you for a few days in a row as if that is normal.

It is not unreasonable to expect someone who has been flirting with you to stop flirting with other people.

It is not unreasonable to expect someone to show up when they say they are going to show up.

It is not unreasonable to expect someone to treat you with as much respect as you give them.

It is not unreasonable to want an equal relationship instead of a one-sided one.

You are not crazy for wanting to be treated like an actual human being. Anyone who tries to make you feel guilty about needing a text back is not deserving of your time. They are lazy. They want to get away with murder, because they are unwilling to give as much as they receive.

They don’t want you to see your worth because the second you do, you are going to walk away. You are going to realize how much better you can have it. 

No matter what you have been told, your standards are not unrealistic. You shouldn’t feel like an awful nag because you want someone to make an actual commitment to you instead of stringing you along for another few months. That should be a given.

Expecting someone to put in effort instead of letting you do all of the heavy lifting yourself does not mean you have unreasonable standards. In fact, your standards aren’t high enough. A text back and uncanceled plans shouldn’t be what you’re aiming to find. Their should be a bigger end goal.

You should be looking for someone who drives miles out of their way to see your face for fifteen minutes. Someone who calls you instead of texts you because they don’t want to wait to hear your voice. Someone who makes you feel like the most beautiful person in every room. Someone who acts like your best friend, your teammate, your soulmate.

You should hold out for someone who rises above your standards. Someone who gives you more than you feel like you deserve, because they would do anything to make you happy. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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