Even When You’re Strong And Independent, Getting Over Him Will Hurt

A strong and independent girl
Unsplash / Brandon Young

Getting over him is going to suck. You are going to spend nights scrolling through old pictures, debating whether you should delete them or move them into a folder so you can save them forever.

You are going to read through old conversations and ask yourself whether you should text him just to see how he’s been doing, even though all of your friends have been warning you that talking to him would be the biggest mistake you could make.

You are going to go through spurts of laziness where you can’t stand the thought of leaving your bedroom and then go through a phase where you hit the gym to make him regret leaving you.

You are going to cry in the middle of the night with his name on your lips and rant about him to your friends when you get wasted.

You are going to flirt with other boys to make yourself forget about him and then you are going to feel guilty about the flirting because even though you are broken up you feel like you are betraying him, you feel like things aren’t actually over between you, you feel like there is a chance you will get back together.

No matter how strong and independent you think you are, if you really loved him, getting over him is going to suck. You will hate yourself at times, because you never thought you would be the girl who wanted to die because of a boy. You never thought that your heart could hurt this bad.

At first, you’ll be able to rely on your friends to cheer you up. To listen to your midnight ramblings. To drag you to bars. To distract you from how much you’re hurting. But after a few weeks or months or years, they are going to get tired of hearing about him. They are going to tell you to forget about him already.

And you will know they’re right. It’s pathetic that you’re still thinking about him so long after everything fell apart.

Unfortunately, moving on doesn’t follow a timeline. You never know how long it will take to stop thinking about him every morning and missing him every night.

Even though you are going to go through hell after the relationship ends, you have to remember that you lived without him once and you can do it again. You make your own money. You have your own friends. You have intelligence and talent and strength. You have everything you need to succeed in life. A boyfriend doesn’t need to be a part of your plan.

You just can’t torture yourself. You can’t sit up in bed, purposely replaying memories in your head on a loop. You can’t keep questioning whether he has found someone new and wondering what he has been up to lately.

You have to stop caring about him and start caring about yourself. Ask yourself what you want from this world — aside from him, aside from a ring, aside from a happily ever after in the form of a marriage. What do you want outside of love? What makes you happy? What brings you fulfillment?

Another relationship might help you get over him, but your best bet is to find your passion and pursue it. Chase after your dreams. Further your education. Travel the universe. Spend more time with your friends.

Do what makes you happiest, because he isn’t the only thing worth having. There are so many other things in this world you can grab. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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