Aries: March 21st – April 19th
Single: Even though the holiday lands in the middle of the work week, you are going to end up gathering your friends together and getting drunk on wine, because you don’t need a man to have a good time.
Taken: You are going to have the best sex of your life.
Taurus: April 20th – May 20th
Single: You aren’t going to be able to resist temptation for any longer and will end up sending your ex a text you’ll regret two minutes after sending. Or you’ll at least Instagram stalk them for an hour while thinking about how much you miss them.
Taken: You are going to visit a fancy restaurant with your person, but since neither of you thought about making reservations, you are going to spend hours waiting for a table. If you two get frustrated enough, you might end up eating fast food instead.
Gemini: May 21st – June 20th
Single: You are going to invite your friends out to see the newest 50 Shades Of Grey in theaters ironically.
Taken: You are going to play the first movie you have ever seen together and make out in the middle of it instead of watching like two teenagers in love.
Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd
Single: You are going to watch whatever romantic comedies you can find on Netflix while eating chocolates you bought for yourself.
Taken: You are going to give your person the most thoughtful gift ever and be slightly disappointed about their gift not being as well-thought out as yours. But you’ll still end up having a good time, because at least you’re spending time together.
Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd
Single: You are going to splurge on something nice for yourself since you’re technically saving money by being single and not having to spend money on a Valentine’s gift.
Taken: You are going to dress your best so you can take an adorable couple selfie for Instagram.
Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd
Single: You are going to spend the day working, so you won’t even realize it’s Valentine’s Day, except when your happily-in-love coworkers brag about the flowers and jewelry they got and you make fun of them inside of your head.
Taken: You are going to spend the day working, so you won’t celebrate Valentine’s Day until the weekend anyway.
Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd
Single: You aren’t going to let the holiday upset you, because you are actually happy you are still single. You’re not just saying that to seem chill. It’s the truth.
Taken: You are going to end up falling asleep early together on the couch, but that’s your idea of a perfect night anyway.
Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st
Single: You are going to get pissed off when your almost boyfriend doesn’t even send you a text, because that probably means he isn’t as serious about you as you thought.
Taken: Unfortunately, you aren’t going to have time to see each other, but you will send sweet, sappy messages over text.
Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st
Single: You are going to spend the night masturbating, because you might as well get an orgasm like everyone else.
Taken: If you’re being honest, you think Valentine’s Day is a bullshit holiday, so you didn’t make any major plans. You’re just going to sit around, order pizza, and watch a movie.
Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th
Single: You are going to consider your pet your Valentine.
Taken: You are going to spend the morning worrying about whether your person will like the present you picked out, because you’re not used to acting romantic, but you want to give them the best day possible.
Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th
Single: One of your parents are going to give you a Valentine’s gift and it’s going to make you remember that family matters more than some boy ever will.
Taken: You are going to love the gift your person gives you, but you are going to love the card even more, because they wrote sweet words inside of it. You’ll save it forever.
Pisces: February 19th – March 20th
Single: You are going to text every single one of your friends to wish them a happy Valentine’s Day, because you think they deserve to know how much you love them.
Taken: You are going to surprise your person with homemade food and a present they are going to flip over, because you’ve spent weeks planning for this night.