Without You, I Finally Learned To Love Myself

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A girl who is learning to love herself
Unsplash / Vanessa Serpas

Without you, I am learning more about myself. Instead of trying my hardest to make sure you are doing okay, I can finally focus on what makes me happy. I can place myself first instead of last. I can make myself a priority.

Without you, I feel comfortable inside of my skin. It’s easier to love myself when you aren’t around to make me feel insecure. To make me second-guess every little thing I say and do. To make me wonder whether I am ever going to be enough.

Without you, I have an easier time sleeping at night. I don’t stay up for hours, worrying about what happened yesterday and stressing about what is going to happen tomorrow. I don’t have nightmares about you breaking me into even more pieces. I am less paranoid. Further from the edge.

Without you, I have the freedom to pursue what I love to do. I can spend more time with my friends. I can spend longer hours at work. I can spend more of my energy working toward my goals. I don’t have to worry about what is going to happen when I come home to you. I don’t have to explain myself to you. You no longer hold power over me.

Without you, I only belong to myself. I don’t have to listen to what anyone else tells me to do. I can make my own decisions. My own mistakes. My own triumphs. I am no longer forced to follow your orders, to obey your every word. I can speak my mind now, without fear of what might happen.

Without you, I am able to see clearly. I am no longer blinded by my attachment to you. Now, I realize I was never the one in the wrong. You were wrong. You treated me horribly. You fooled me into believing that I wasn’t enough when I was more than enough.

Without you, my guilt has disappeared. I thought I would feel bad about cutting you out of my world, but leaving you behind has helped me realize that I should have cut the cord long ago. I kept you in my life for far too long. Longer than you deserved.

Without you, I was able to take a step back and see how unhealthy our situation was. The late night arguments we had were not normal. They were toxic. They were poisonous to my growth. And I will never allow them to happen again. I will never let history repeat itself.

Without you, I feel like I have a second chance. An opportunity to turn everything around. To reach success. To cultivate self-love and find self-fulfillment. I feel like this is the start of a new beginning.

Without you, I have the ability to rewrite my own story. I am able to invite new people into my life, people who will never mistreat me the way you have. People who will love me unconditionally. People who will see my value from the start. TC mark

Rethinking your life and don’t know where to start? 💭

If I stopped growing tomorrow, is this the person I would want to be for the rest of my life?

Letting go is not releasing
it is allowing
What already is.

The things we lose are not losses. They are entryways.

The only way to fail is to stop trying.

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Play hookie and stay at the Hillside Schoolhouse, an 1884 schoolhouse renovated to perfection in upstate New York. 

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