Thought Catalog

When You Love Someone, You Never Make Them Feel Insecure

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A couple in love
Unsplash / Brooke Cagle

If you love her, you won’t let her insult herself in front of you, because you think she is already perfect. If you love her, you will give her the reassurance she needs that you still care about her, and that you still find her attractive, even if you have already told her three times that day.

If you love her, she will never have to fish for compliments, because you will comment on her outfit before she has a chance to ask you what you think. If you love her, you will notice when she gets a new haircut or changes the color completely, because you will be paying close attention to her.

If you love her, you will show her through your words and through your actions. You will make a point to make her feel special. You will put in the effort the relationship needs.

If you love her, you will never make her feel like shit.

If you love her, then you won’t stare at other people. You won’t compare her to celebrities. You won’t comment on how nice your waitress looks and how you wish she would dress more like that. You won’t make her feel like you are settling and wish you had someone prettier, someone who weighed less or had a bigger chest.

If you love her, you won’t give her a reason to wonder whether you are going to stray. You won’t keep Tinder on your phone. You won’t keep your exes on your contact list. You won’t keep ‘harmlessly’ flirting with strangers when you are supposed to be staying loyal to her. You will only have eyes for her.

If you love her, you won’t make her question her own worth, her own beauty. You won’t make her wonder whether she should join the gym for you. Whether she should wear more makeup for you. Whether she should dress differently for you. If she chooses to do those things, she should be doing them for herself and know that you will support her every step of the way.

If you love her, you won’t give her even more reasons to feel insecure. She already has problems with her appearance. She already struggles with self-love. She doesn’t need you to add reasons to the list of why she hates herself when you are supposed to be the one person in the world who accepts her and loves her for exactly who she is.

If you love her, you will tell her she’s acting silly when she complains about how much weight she has gained or how messy her hair looks. You will encourage her to wear what she wants, because she looks good in anything. You will remind her of her beauty, inside and out.

If you love her, you will never make her feel bad about herself. Instead, you will help her feel beautiful in her skin. You will help her see herself the way that you have always seen her. TC mark

I asked women to tell the story behind one of their Instagram photos 📸

“This is me on the roof of my building forcing myself to laugh. Every time I make my best friend take photos of me I remember that I’ve been single for 5 years and don’t have anyone to be in the photo with me. I’m just alone. My hair looks good though.”

This is the reality of Instagram...
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Read more books in 2018…

Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

“These essays are slowly changing my life, as the title promises. As my friends’ birthday come along, they will all be receiving a copy of this wonderful book.” – Janie

Amazon: 4.8/5 stars
Goodreads: 4.29/5 stars

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