It’s never easy cutting someone you care about out of your world — but it’s a much smoother transition when the person doesn’t mind leaving. When you stop texting them and they don’t bother to text you either. When you close your heart off from them and they don’t try to weasel their way back inside.
It’s so much harder when the person you want to cut out of your world refuses to leave. When they drop down to their knees and beg for your forgiveness. When they make promises about how they will be different, about how they will do anything to make you stay, about how they cannot bear to live without you. When they give an apology that sounds genuine, even though you’ve heard the same thing a million times before and nothing has ever changed.
It’s so much harder to cut someone out of your world when they want to remain there — because, secretly, you want them there too. You don’t want to say goodbye. You’re only doing it because you think it’s best for your own mental health.
After all, they are only nice to you half of the time. They only say sorry when they are afraid you are going to leave for good. If you stayed, you know their newfound kindness would only last a few weeks before they went back to doing what they have always done.
None of that matters, though. Since there is a small chance things could work out this time around, you hesitate to leave. You feel guilty about walking away. You don’t want to be the one who gave up. The one who called it quits instead of putting in more effort.
But deep down, you know that you are not the one ending the relationship. They are the reason it fell apart. They pushed you away. They made you leave, even if they keep begging you to stay.
It’s so much harder to cut someone out of your world when they keep calling you and texting you and showing up at your front door with roses — but you can block their number. You can erase them from social media. You can get a restraining order if the need arises.
You are going to feel like shit for leaving behind someone who desperately wants you around, but you have to do what is best for yourself. You can’t feel guilty about how heartbroken they must be to lose you, because you were heartbroken when they still had you and treated you like a second choice. When they took advantage of your kindness. When they gave you less than you deserved without thinking twice.
You’re leaving because they put themselves first for too long — and now it’s time for you to put yourself first. It’s time for you to treat yourself like a priority. It’s time for you to make the choice that is best for your future, for your own personal growth, instead of the choice that is the easiest.