When you’re single, vulnerability is frowned upon. Almost relationships and one night stands run the other direction when you spill your heart to them. So you keep your emotions inside. You don’t ask about labels. You don’t call anyone out for ignoring your texts or canceling plans at the last second. You deal with the shitty way they treat you, because if you spoke your mind, then you would look clingy. Desperate. Psycho. You would chase them away.
But once you enter a serious relationship, once you’re deeply in love, vulnerability will only make your relationship stronger.
You have to abandon the mindset you developed while you were single, because acting cold and emotionless and chill isn’t going to help you anymore. It’s only going to hurt you.
When you’re in love, you can’t keep your emotions bottled up inside. You need to wear your heart on your sleeve. You need to be open and honest with your person about everything, no exceptions. You can’t keep any secrets from them.
You can’t claim you’re fine when you’re dying inside because you don’t want them to think you’re being overdramatic. You can’t run into the bathroom and lock the door when you’re upset because you don’t want them to see you cry. You have to give them every little piece of you, even the pieces you would rather keep hidden.
You will destroy your relationship if you never tell them when you’re angry. If you never speak up when you feel like they are taking advantage of you. If you never remind them how much you love them.
No matter how perfect your person is for you, they are still incapable of reading your mind. They are not going to guess what’s wrong when you grow quiet. They are not going to realize they made a mistake unless you tell them. And they are not going to be confident you love them unless you say it aloud.
You have to communicate with them. You have to bear your soul to them, even when it’s scary.
Showing your vulnerable side can be hard after years of being single, years of conditioning yourself to act like you don’t care. But when you’re in a serious relationship, the most important thing is to show how much you care. To express your feelings. To put in effort. To give them attention. To show them affection.
When you’re in a serious relationship, you don’t have to hold yourself back from saying what you want to say because you’re worried about the other person leaving. You don’t have to wait to text them because you don’t want to send two messages in a row. You don’t have to censor yourself anymore. You don’t have to play games anymore. You don’t have to play pretend anymore.
Because the more vulnerable you are, the stronger your relationship will become. It will help your love last a lifetime.