It takes strength to exist in the same room as someone who stabbed you in the back. Someone who took advantage of your trust in them. Someone who you wish you could cut out of your world and never see again.
When all you want to do is scream your lungs out at them, lunge at them, bring them the same amount of pain they brought you, it takes strength to force a smile in their direction, to make polite chitchat with them, to play nice with them.
It’s not like you’re not acting like everything is fine. It’s not like you’re letting them get away with everything they have done to you. They can still tell you’re pissed. They can tell by the way you keep conversations short. By the way you stay silent instead of laughing at their jokes. By the way you leave as soon as you get the chance.
They already know you are done with them, so you don’t have to curse them out or splash a drink in their face to get your point across. They already know they fucked up. They already know you will never look at them the same way again.
There is no reason for you to list out all of the ways they have wronged you, because they are not going to listen anyway. If you get mad, you are only going to cause more drama. You are only going to make things worse.
Even though seeing them kills you inside, even though you would love the chance to put them in their place, staying angry at them is only hurting yourself. It’s bringing you anxiety. Chest pain. Bad dreams. Dark thoughts.
Your anger is only poisonous to yourself. The other person is immune.
That is why you don’t have to forgive them for what they have done, but you have to accept what they have done. You can’t keep your anger inside. You can’t let it take control of you. You have to release it into the wild. You have to let it go.
Besides, they don’t deserve to have such a huge impact on you. They don’t deserve all of your attention. They don’t deserve a second more of your time, whether it’s in person or inside your head.
If you can walk away from them forever, don’t hesitate to say goodbye. But if you keep getting stuck in the same room as them, remember that it takes strength to play nice with someone when it makes you sick to your stomach to see them. It takes strength to be the bigger person when it’s so tempting to lash out and make them pay for what they have done. It takes strength to keep calm, even when your blood is boiling.
Remember, you aren’t weak for talking to someone you can’t stand when you’re forced into the same room together. You aren’t a pushover for continuing to treat them with kindness during your run ins. You are choosing to take the high road. You are choosing to put your love for yourself before your hatred of them, because you know your anger isn’t worth it. They aren’t worth it.